tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-115793292024-03-12T22:21:35.617-05:00I am who I amI am who I am, which is too many things to have one specific title. That's why I need a blog.Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.comBlogger882125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11579329.post-80524033259943622762014-02-05T21:33:00.004-06:002014-02-05T21:33:47.520-06:00ChangesAlrighty, kids. I have, after 9 years, officially outgrown this blog. We all knew it was coming, right? The great news is, I'm not done blogging; in fact, I'm just getting going on some very exciting things! Please put I Am Who I Am in your archives, and come follow me here: <a href="http://eternalseinundzeit.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">Examination of This Life</a>. See you there!Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11579329.post-6151460430177847732013-11-06T19:55:00.000-06:002013-11-06T20:03:49.490-06:00My huge crush on Simon SinekIt's not just that he's cute...though he is.<br />
It's not just that he's brilliant...though he is.<br />
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It's not just that he's humble...though he is.<br />
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It's not even that once in awhile I can grab onto his accent, for just a brief moment (though I have to be honest: yum).<br />
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I crush on Simon Sinek because, quite simply, smart is sexy. Watching Simon speak is like going to a spin class. Or spending an hour in yoga with the best teacher in the world. Endorphins surge through my brain, my heart rate elevates, I feel strong, and, best of all, I feel smart. I feel electricity forging new neural pathways (dancing dendrites!) that make me better at my job, better in my relationships, and better in the world. He decreases my stress. How? By telling me to get over myself. By telling me that if I could just stop making assumptions for five minutes, I'd have a lot more energy to enjoy reality. By teaching me to work smarter, not as a cliche, but as an actual way to live better. And, the best part, he doesn't tell me to do it--he asks me why I wouldn't want to do it.<br />
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If you haven't met Simon yet, start here: <a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action.html" target="_blank">How Great Leaders Inspire Action</a>. Then head to his <a href="http://www.startwithwhy.com/" target="_blank">website</a>. Then, because you'll be an addict like me, prepare to spend at least a part of each day loving on Simon Sinek's brilliance. Have fun! :-)Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11579329.post-83031479227920455212013-11-03T23:05:00.000-06:002013-11-03T23:09:42.161-06:00Yoga SundaysMy love of Sundays is well documented in this blog. Search "Sunday" and you'll get some good reading, mostly about how I love to lay around on Sundays, grading and watching football, cooking, and chilling out as I prepare mentally for the school week ahead. (You'll also get one about how much I hate accounting and is maybe the most "first world problems" blog entry I've ever written, though that's not a guarantee...)<br />
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Now that I have a new job that doesn't involve frantically grading stacks of essays, a job that doesn't fill me with a sense of impeding dread beginning around 2pm, my Sunday love has a new focus. Of course, it's yoga. <br />
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My Sundays now begin and end with yoga. I teach one class at 8:30am, then go to breakfast with the Beh Freh and her husband. A trip to Trader Joe's later, I'm either back home or off to yoga class #2. A few weeks ago I was offered the opportunity to take on a 3rd class, a 5:30pm "prime time" (even though it's a weekend) class. I went back and forth before taking it; I didn't know if I could handle 3 classes in one day, especially on a Sunday.<br />
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One of the things I'm learning as I transition away from teaching high school English is how much of my weekend was spent working even if I was "relaxing." A teacher's job is done exactly one day a year: the last day of school. Other than that, even if the papers are graded, there is planning to be done. Emails to answer. Curriculum to be written. Plenty to fill 25 hours a day. I didn't realize until I didn't have the guilt anymore how much of my mental energy went to making myself feel bad that I wasn't working harder...that I even had a stack to grade, because I should have already graded it. What a mess. <br />
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So, now I spend my Sundays not feeling guilty. Instead, I'm so grateful to be able to, in some small way, help prepare people for their week ahead. So that they can manage their own stuff, whatever that may be. I still work as many hours teaching yoga on Sundays as I used to when I was grading papers. But, rather that feel like I'm not working hard enough, I'm able to breathe and move.<br />
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And that, friends, catapults Sundays into a whole new, beautiful, realm of awesome.Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11579329.post-66765757278261039802013-10-30T21:16:00.000-05:002013-10-30T21:25:33.341-05:00The one where I'm not going to Tulum.Two years ago, <a href="http://stephenkingsgirl.blogspot.com/2011/11/and-then-i-died-and-went-to-heaven.html" target="_blank">I visited the most magical place I'd ever visited</a>: Tulum, Mexico. Then, I went back again last year. It drew me back cell by cell. Before my 2012 trip, I was worried that it wouldn't be as good as 2011 because how on earth could it be? It was impossible. And yet, through a few stars aligning in a very perfect way, some things happened that made it not just better than the year before; it because one of the best weeks of my life. I look back on it with a fondness and reverence I don't have for many other things, because it was, truly, a once-in-a-lifetime experience. To say that it's a place of healing is an understatement. Remember, I spent the summer in Santa Barbara where my soul purpose in life was to heal myself....and three months in Santa Barbara didn't do as much for me as four days in Tulum. <br />
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You may be surprised to hear that this year, in three days, I'm not going back to Tulum. I go back and forth with being at peace with my decision to not go. Some days I know it's exactly right for me to move on and enjoy my new path toward California; other days I want to buy a plane ticket and just go already. <br />
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There are many obstacles. I spent the summer in California. Santa Barbara, California, of all places, which wasn't cheap. Then there's the new job. The new job where I have a major deadline on November 15th and missing 4 working days would make meeting that deadline all but impossible. Then there's the change in leadership for the retreat. I'm the kind of girl who went to the same camp every summer and requested the same counselor year after year. I don't like change. That's the least significant obstacle, and it wouldn't have been enough to stop me from going if the money and time was there...but I'd be lying if I didn't console myself a little by saying "Well, at least ____ and ____ and ____ aren't leading..." <br />
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So, a part of me says, "You should have gone, to become comfortable with the unknown. To release your expectations. To not stall out in old memories, but create new ones."<br />
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Another part of me says, "If Tulum is really a place of healing, then you've already got Tulum with you now. It has healed you. Healing doesn't expire; it's not something that needs to be renewed or it dies out. New injuries may occur, but that tends to call for new types of healing. In fact, I'm pretty sure the research would back me up in saying that repetition of healing methods tends to diminish their effectiveness over time.<br />
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I have to believe that this year is not the year for me in Tulum. Last year was. The year before that was. This year is someone else's year. My experience, my healing, lies elsewhere. Maybe my growth here is realizing that I am healed, that it's time to move forward. <br />
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But...Tulum did make me very happy. Twice.<br />
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Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11579329.post-24964723724905165432013-10-24T22:02:00.001-05:002013-10-24T22:02:45.997-05:00Back to RealityYou may be wondering where I've been since <a href="http://stephenkingsgirl.blogspot.com/2013/06/a-break-from-california-style-to-talk.html" target="_blank">James Gandolfini died</a>. That's fair; I kind of disappeared, I'll cop to it. I spent another 6 weeks in California after my last entry, and, during that time, I became a little bit like Eve after eating the apple. Suddenly I realized that I was hesitant to post the inner workings of my brain on the internet. Each experience I had in Santa Barbara seemed to pull me more and more deeper into myself, into a sort of recovery I didn't really know I needed, and, when I could put words to it, it seemed inappropriate to publicize it.<br />
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When I got home, I numbed out for about a month. With absolutely no disrespect to my amazing family and friends here in MN, I was absolutely devastated to be home. Each day I lived in a twisted variation of "California Time"--in which, at any given hour of the day, rather than living in the moment, I preferred to imagine "if I was in Santa Barbara, I would be ________ right now." And I never ran out of of ways to fill in that blank. Santa Barbara could barely manage to let me go (my journey to try to get out of town is a whole blog entry in itself) and between the city, the yoga, the beach, the coffee, the farmer's market, and all of the amazing people I shared those activities with, MN seemed to be a very isolated, lonely place. It didn't help that the construction on the interstate nearest me required me to drive south to go north and added anywhere from 20-30 minutes to get anywhere. Believe me, numb was easier.<br />
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Then, I started <a href="http://stephenkingsgirl.blogspot.com/2013/05/put-your-dharma-where-your-mouth-is.html" target="_blank">my new job</a>. Numb was not an option....I had new faces to learn, the layout of two new buildings, nine new computer programs to master (and train teachers how to use) and a house to unpack. So, I did. And now I'm back here. Slowly but surely re-engaging with the world, rediscovering my MN voice and purpose, and figuring out how to place my Santa Barbara experience into the greater context of my life. No promises for daily entries, but, tell me, if you read this far.....did you miss me?Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11579329.post-70712203188924323502013-06-21T00:10:00.003-05:002013-06-21T00:15:41.007-05:00A break from California-style to talk about James Gandolfini Yesterday I was walking to CorePower for a class when, randomly, a tv at a salon next to the studio caught my eye. I saw the words "James Gandolfini." I don't know why I bothered to stop--I knew it was CNN, but...who cares, really? But I did stop, and saw the word "Dead" after his name.<br />
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I gasped. Audibly. I'm sure the woman walking behind me thought I was crazy.<br />
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James Gandolfini. Fifty-one years old, chilling in Italy with his son, going about his daily business, and then, dead. Just like that.<br />
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Just like that. It can happen. And, more importantly, it can happen to someone like James Gandolfini, who, though I only knew him as Tony Soprano, came across as vaguely immortal. He was like the anti-star. He hated speaking to the media--but he still did it. He wasn't "Hollywood sexy;" instead, he redefined sexy in his own terms....but he didn't brag about it. He raised a family. His brute physical appearance was softened by eyes and a smile that were completely without guile. <br />
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The writers of The Sopranos were unable to definitively kill off Tony Soprano. Why? Because it didn't feel right. Sure, it was the natural course of things: Tony Soprano ought to die. We all do. But even in a world of fiction, where anything can happen, Tony Soprano goes right on eating onion rings and we all wonder how long he keeps on eating them. But we know he DOES go on eating them. Because he's Tony Soprano.<br />
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So, in our minds, where the lines between reality and television have blurred to invisibility, James Gandolfini's death is simply beyond understanding. I've heard a lot today on the CNN loop, he was "larger than life." He wasn't....that's the thing. He was just a man. He was like us. And that's the problem. Because we love to put certain people above consequence. We create caricature mob bosses who are still compassionate, loving husbands and good fathers. And when the embodiment of that caricature, who takes such good care of it, and us, dies? It's shocking.<br />
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I'm struggling with this bit of news. Not because I knew James Gandolfini, or even because I was some sort of die-hard Gandolfini fan. It's because it's just so....unreal. Except is is exactly real. <br />
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In the final episode of The Sopranos, Tony and AJ have the following exchange:<br />
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AJ: Focus on the good times.<br />
Tony: Don't be sarcastic.<br />
AJ: Isn't that what you said one time? Try to remember the times that were good?<br />
Tony: I did?<br />
AJ: Yeah.<br />
Tony: Ah, it's true I did.<br />
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Had Tony Soprano seen his death coming, I have to believe he would have seen it as an inevitable end. The only possible conclusion, and a closure of a life well-lived. Maybe James Gandolfini felt that. Maybe he learned from Tony Soprano how mortal we truly are. <br />
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Hearing of James Gandolfini's death reminded me of a poem by Jennifer Welwood that hangs on the bathroom wall of <a href="http://www.yogasoup.com/" target="_blank">Yoga Soup</a>, an amazing yoga studio in downtown Santa Barbara.<br />
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The Dakini Speaks<br />
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My friends, let's grow up.<br />
Let's stop pretending we don't know the deal here.<br />
Or if we truly haven't noticed, let's wake up and notice.<br />
Look: everything that can be lost, will be lost.<br />
It's simple--how could we have missed it for so long?<br />
Let's grieve our losses fully, like ripe human beings,<br />
But please, let's not be so shocked by them.<br />
Let's not act so betrayed,<br />
As though life had broken her secret promise to us.<br />
Impermanence is life's only promise to us,<br />
And she keeps it with ruthless impeccability.<br />
To a child, she seems cruel, but she is only wild,<br />
And her compassion is exquisitely precise:<br />
Brilliantly penetrating, luminous with truth,<br />
She strips away the unreal to show us the real.<br />
This is the true ride--let's give ourselves to it!<br />
Let's stop making deals for a safe passage:<br />
There isn't one anyway, and the cost is too high.<br />
We are not children any more.<br />
The true human adult gives everything for what cannot be lost.<br />
Let's dance the wild dance of no hope!<br />
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RIP, James Gandolfini. Don't stop...<br />
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<br />Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11579329.post-50356443868690025642013-06-20T01:58:00.004-05:002013-06-20T02:00:13.430-05:00Daily Schedule, California Style<b>Sometime: </b>Wake up. Eat breakfast.<br />
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<b>Sometime later:</b> Go to yoga. Hang out after with new friends.<br />
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<b>Later:</b> Get coffee.<br />
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<b>Later:</b> Go to yoga. Hang out after with new friends.<br />
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<b>Later:</b> A, B, C, or D, in no particular order:<br />
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A. Drive to beach. While at the beach, play with the dog in the ocean. Walk to the end of the pier and back. Read. Eat. Look at the mountains. Pinch arm. <br />
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B. Go shopping on State Street. Buy cute clothes I cannot afford any more than I can live without.<br />
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C. Go to the farmer's market. Be completely in love with the sunshine, vegetables, and total strangers.<br />
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D. Play with new sequencing and music in the studio.<br />
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<b>Later:</b> Go to yoga. Be insanely stretchy and in love with the universe.<br />
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<b>Later:</b> Eat. Drink hot tea. Notice that I cannot stop smiling.<br />
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<b>Later:</b> Wonder exactly what it would take to move here.<br />
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<b>Later:</b> Work on grad class, stress over money, drink a cocktail (or three), and eat popcorn. Also, play Bejeweled Blitz and watch HLN and wonder about the state of the world.<br />
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<b>Later:</b> Realize it's way too late to call anyone in MN to tell them how amazing California is. Vow to call earlier tomorrow.<br />
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<br />Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11579329.post-29957521983450075022013-06-13T01:12:00.001-05:002013-06-13T01:12:22.666-05:00The one where I missed the Big MetaphorSo I'm laying in yoga tonight (literally, laying on my back, while everyone else is doing this nutso sequence I can't quite follow to even know when to rejoin after both sides), thinking. The instructor was putting everyone into a variation of a crazy forward fold sort of thing and explaining that you can't just drop into it right away--you have to breathe your way into it. Your body will shove itself into whatever posture you want, but it's not always comfortable and, if you do it really wrong, you might only be able to do it the one time. But, if you go slowly, in stages, and take your time, the process becomes a whole lot more pleasant.<br />
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And then my mind drifted toward my mad dash from Minnesota to Santa Barbara. I thought about the compulsive need I had to get in my car every day and drive 10-12 hours to "get there." Because heaven forfend I would take some breaths along the way. Stop in Colorado and visit friends. Stop to see whatever Nebraska's version of the World's Biggest Ball of Twine is. Nope, I had to Get There. And now, I'm paying for it. I feel like I need about 900 yoga classes to get myself back to center. <br />
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But it's good--that's part of why I'm out here, is to figure stuff like that out. To observe from the outside that I hauled ass to Santa Barbara in the same way I overstretch my hamstrings in a forward bend. It's incentive to, rather than try to set a land speed record for the drive home, take a few extra days to travel back to MN. Because it's out of my comfort zone. Because I'll learn from it.<br />
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Life lessons present themselves all the time. You don't need to travel across the country to learn them--though, I will say, being 2000 miles away from home has highlighted a LOT of lessons I need to spend some time with. If you can't drive 2000 miles out of your comfort zone, try going to your yoga mat. If you don't have a yoga mat, maybe just getting a mat is enough of a step out of "The Zone." Ask yourself: What do I rush through? Where could I slow down? A hundred things may come to mind....pick one. Then, the next time you encounter that thing, take twice as long as you want to accomplish it. Breathe. Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11579329.post-34154931672641418122013-06-11T16:29:00.001-05:002013-06-11T16:29:23.626-05:00Learning how to road trip...one mile at a time.Having landed rather unceremoniously in Santa Barbara last night, I thought I should post a summary of what it took to get me here. Santa Barbara and Shakopee are a little over 2000 miles apart, and an estimated 30 hours (if you drive like a normal person and not a grandmother). So, here's what I learned:<br />
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1. Stephen King novels make a great soundtrack for driving through the desert.<br />
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2. Bags of chips, bottles of water, and anything that combines air with sealing will pop with altitude changes. When this happens, it sounds like a gun going off in your car. <br />
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3. Dogs need to be taken out of the car and walked approximately every 2 hours or they begin to bounce involuntarily around the vehicle. This will add significant time to the overall trip, especially when you need to watch for specific rest stops and can't just pull over to run the dog around the freeway.<br />
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4. Lots more hotels take dogs that what you might think. This is awesome.<br />
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5. A 7% grade is a steep fucking grade. Don't be fooled by the little tiny percentage number.<br />
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6. The importance of an overnight bag separate from the rest of the luggage cannot be overstated. When you park at night, the only things you want to carry to the room are: the overnight bag, the dog, the doggy stairs, the dog's overnight bag, and all of your valuables. Also, the kitchen sink.<br />
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7. The last 90 minutes is the longest of the entire trip. <br />
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Now that I've gotten settled here in SB, I can only hope that my license plate serves as a universal apology to all Californians for my slow driving, confusion, and hesitation at lights. By the time August rolls around, hopefully I'll be driving 200 mph in a 10 speed zone just like the rest of 'em. <br />
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These, and countless other lessons yet to be learned, are why I'm here in California. Live, learn, love!Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11579329.post-64619973625316233492013-06-07T23:29:00.000-05:002013-06-07T23:29:43.750-05:00Destination California: Day 1Today, the opportunity to drive for 8 hours without interruption from email, bells, student questions, and packing was the best start to a vacation I could have possibly asked for. I hit the road at a little after 1pm, and bid a fond farewell to pretty much everything I've ever known. Some I'll return to, and some I won't. It still hasn't it me yet that I'm no longer an English teacher. I packed up my entire classroom--13 years worth--in 3 days and it's now sitting in boxes in my spare bedroom. <br />
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I landed tonight in Lincoln, Nebraska. It was just after dark, and it was clearly time to stop. Gatsby was driving me nuts and I was getting really stressed out for no good reason. Almost 2 weeks of 2-3 hours of sleep a night finally caught up with me and I was about done. I'm so grateful to be taking this trip--it is going to be the experience of a lifetime. But it wasn't easy getting here, I'll tell you. But now that it's just me, Gatsby, and the open road? Life is pretty damn good.Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11579329.post-25481004203199448962013-06-05T22:10:00.002-05:002013-06-05T22:11:40.195-05:00The final countdown!First, I have SO MUCH TO DO. For real. It's the last week of the school year, so even under ideal conditions I'm stressed to the gills and ready to cry at any given moment. Add to that the preparations for a house renovation that involves me packing up about half my house, a new job that involves me packing up my entire classroom (and moving it home), and a drive across the country to a city I've visited only once, and this. girl. is. fucking. outofhermind. <br />
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But I'm SO EXCITED!!!!! :-) This is actually happening!!!!! A week from now, I'll be settling in to my new space, getting my bearings on the city around me, and trying to not be too overwhelmed with awesome to do anything. </div>
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Tonight I said goodbye to the Beh Freh...my pet name for my dear friend Amy. She and her husband gave me a "road trip package" How fricking amazing is this?! </div>
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She knows exactly what I love (and what Gatsby loves....which is, more than anything, to be counted among the human-types). And, because she's the Beh Freh, she gave me a little tough love tonight after our yoga class. Suffice to say, she's not one for the Minnesota Goodbye. She's a one-and-done sort of girl. No tears, no sadness, just "dude, buck up. Go to California. I'll see you there." She is so good for me. I didn't cry over not seeing her, and, without her matter-of-fact approach, I could very well have been a sobbing, dribbling mess. Someone who will not only let you keep your dignity, but will also send you on a 29 hour road trip with Goldfish, Oreos, and Captain Morgan? That's a Beh Freh right there, people.</div>
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Tonight is an all-nighter. I need to finish my grades, finish my packing, and get my shit together. I also need to eat everything in my freezer. Ready....steady..... </div>
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Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11579329.post-58022461320455862172013-06-02T22:41:00.000-05:002013-06-02T22:49:22.057-05:00My Heart Took a Picture<br />
In 1988 a movie came out with Linda Hamilton called 'Go Toward the Light.' It was based on a true story of a boy who gets HIV from a blood transfusion. I was addicted to it beyond measure because, in the late 80s, I was in love with both Linda Hamilton and things that made me cry my eyes out. One of the parts of the movie that continues to stay with me is the scene in which the dying boy is holding his baby brother and their mom says "My heart took a picture." Maybe it resonated with me because my dad was a photographer, or because I thought it was such a beautiful freedom to be able to take a picture with your heart and carry it with you always. <br />
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This morning I taught my last two yoga classes here in MN until I return in August. For the last year, best friend Amy and her husband have come to my early class and then we all head over to Starbucks for breakfast and conversation in which we try to solve all the world's problems--or at least our own. Amy and I have both changed jobs over our Sunday coffee. We've planned retirement, trips to Vancouver, and tattoos. We've vented, cursed, moaned and whined. We've celebrated, laughed, plotted and schemed. Today we did this one last time for the foreseeable future, since I will have a different teaching schedule when I return. I managed to not cry in my coffee....even when Amy bought us all cake pops and we sat there like three teenagers trying to guess the flavor of the cake before we ate them and making jokes. Our Sunday breakfast is something I'd dreamed about my whole life without ever really realizing I was doing it: having a coffee klatch. Who knew? <br />
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I taught my second class, then met Amy and John for a "goodbye lunch" that isn't really a goodbye quite yet (it's really goodbye #2 with at least one more to go). We went to the Golden Nugget for burgers and beer. John drinks beer all the time. Amy and I never do, but today we were both craving it. We laughed about that. And we chatted about work, California, yoga, people who don't wash their hands after using the bathroom, whether beer or cocktails are better, and other Very Important Things. <br />
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And it was there, while we were sitting down to our second meal of the day, with a beer in my hand and Matt Hires' <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zk4dKviGpXw" target="_blank">'Restless Heart'</a> in the background, that my heart took a picture of my beautiful friends. Their importance in my life is immeasurable. My gratitude for moments where all of my senses engage in a way that creates a picture only I can see and that I can take out to look at whenever I want defies description. It will make me cry for awhile, to think of today, and to hear Restless Heart (yeah, I know---I have no idea what my thing is with that song...for real) and know that today closed out a lovely chapter I've been fond of for such a long time. Each day that goes by I'm getting more and more excited for my time in California and for the inevitable transformation it will bring...but my Sunday coffee just won't be the same.Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11579329.post-24928428757764686012013-05-31T22:36:00.001-05:002013-05-31T22:36:35.715-05:00The real reason I'm going to California...and what needs to happen to get me thereToday was the last Friday of the school year, and the shit kind of hit the fan. I looked around my classroom and burst right into tears. Not because I'm going to miss it (I am) or because it's such a raging disaster (it is), but because in one brief-yet-intense flash of clarity, I understood that I leave in one week and I have a month's worth of work to do before I go.<br />
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Before I get to my boring-ass list of things to do, which I will post here for my own accountability, here's the real, cross-my-heart, pinkie-swear, for-real-and-for-true reason why I'm going to California. <br />
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Ready?<br />
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I'm going to California because I have lost my way in Minnesota. Five years ago, I had finally found my path. Successful career? Check. Fabulous boyfriend with a future? Check. About-to-be-published author? Check. Then, I found yoga and I veered very sharply, very suddenly, to my left for a pit stop. And, just like those beautiful scenic lookout points at the side of the road, the last few years where yoga has been the center of my existence have been breathtaking. But, you know how after you've been sitting there for a few minutes, looking at the majesty of it all and taking pictures you'll never look at again so you don't forget how beautiful this moment is, you get a little bored? You get a little like "Okay, let's get back in the car, we've got places to go!" That's me. My life right now is that very beautiful scenic lookout, and I have overstayed my welcome.<br />
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My writing career has been calling my name. Screaming it. Everything in my house seems like me-from-five-years-ago. Still awesome, but not quite right. When I go to California, I intend to find my way again. I've allowed myself to wander around off the map for long enough. Coming home, I'll have a freshened up townhome and a brand spanking new job. A path.<br />
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Things I need to do before I leave:<br />1. Too fucking much<br />
2. Really.<br />
3. It's actually literally too much to list<br />
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I can't wait to keep you updated on this journey. Feel free to ask questions, offer up words of encouragement, or check in on my progress anytime you like. Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11579329.post-32706940410475816732013-05-20T20:03:00.001-05:002013-05-20T20:07:25.037-05:00Put your dharma where your mouth isI speak a LOT in my yoga classes about breathing. How we practice the breath and add in obstacles (postures) to challenge the breath so we can increase our concentration, focus, and capacity to breathe even when the only thing we want to do is get.out.of.warrior.3. All yoga teachers talk about this. It's so prevalent it even has a name: dharma talk. Blah blah blah, I say; "live your yoga off the mat."<br />
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"Practice it here so you can do it out there."<br />
"Your breath will carry you through difficulty."<br />
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Today I had to put my dharma where my mouth is. Full disclosure: I had a job interview today. It's for a job within my same district, and it's a position I would absolutely love to have. I'd be great at it, and it lines up with how I see my future in education. I did as much preparation for the job as I could, got into my grown up clothes, and showed up to the interview ready to strut my stuff. I think I managed to keep my face expressionless as I walked into the room to see ten people staring back at me. <br />
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TEN PEOPLE.<br />
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The most intense interview I'd had in my life up until today was for a teaching job in Bloomington in 1999. Five people. Ten people, twenty pairs of eyes, is intense, my friends. I answered ten questions in fifteen minutes. I remember snippets of what I said. I hope that I put together complete sentences. I am 90% sure I did not breathe from the moment I began to answer the first question until I got back into my car. Bad yogi!<br />
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So, let's go back to the practice of yoga for a moment. At some point, life presents us with challenges. Some easy, some repetitive, some so mindnumbingly tragic that we're all "Dude, Life, are you fucking kidding me with this?" I practiced my yoga by applying for the job and going to the interview, no question. In my pre-yoga life, I would have beaten myself before I clicked "submit" on the application. I had the opportunity to deepen my practice by breathing through the interview itself. Faaaail. But, it's okay; how many times did I fall out of headstand before I could stay in? And, let's not stop there: the yoga continues now. Because my brain apparently enjoyed answering those 10 questions so much today that it wants to keep answering them over, and over, and over, and over again. Really, Brain? You can't think of anything else to focus on?<br />
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Tonight my yoga "perfect" is in knowing that I did everything within my control to the best of my ability. My yoga <i>practice </i>is in the other half--the part I can't control. The part where I just need to wait. To concentrate on other things. To believe. To breathe.<br />
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I tell my students "Yoga is a process. It's a practice. Do your best, but have compassion for yourself." If I can't practice that myself, then the yoga is lost on me. Then the dharma is simply words, nothing more. It ain't gonna be easy--let me tell you. But, if I truly want to practice my yoga tonight, I need to breathe, put my interview suit away, turn off the phone, and trust that everything, truly, will work out exactly as it is supposed to work.Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11579329.post-44952188028595001452013-05-18T22:55:00.003-05:002013-05-18T22:55:52.643-05:00A new California faceHere's a little secret: I'm going to suspend my Facebook account for the summer. Yep, that's right--this summer will be Facebook Free. Mostly because I'm pretty sure I'll be too busy at the ocean or the yoga studio to be bothered. But, I know that there are people who will want to see how my summer is going...so, I've given the ol' Blog a facelift for the California Experience. <br />
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Three weeks from today, I'll be chilling in Colorado Springs, about halfway through my trip. The plan is to leave June 7th after school is done for the day. I'm a little bummed to miss graduation; this will be the first time I've ever missed one. But, I like the idea of leaving with a half-day's drive ahead of me rather than starting out with a big 12 hour leg right off the bat. <br />
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What I have to get done between now and then is absolutely paralyzing. I'm a little over-emotional, a little hyper-sensitive, and I know it's my "to do" list that's weighing on me so heavily. I have to remember that everything will get done--or it won't. If it doesn't get done, for the most part it'll be okay. The stuff that absolutely needs to get done will get done. I also have a feeling that I'll be a much different person when I come back. There's a big risk that comes from taking a completely different path from normal. I'll say more about that...probably a lot more...later. <br />
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In the meantime, you'll be able to start looking here rather than Facebook for my California Experience. Happy following!Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11579329.post-5492208285558981152013-04-13T11:49:00.001-05:002013-04-13T11:49:57.536-05:00A much needed morning at home...heck, I just need a home. How funny that my last post (yes, too long ago) was about my <a href="http://stephenkingsgirl.blogspot.com/2013/02/saturdays.html" target="_blank">new-found love of Saturdays</a>. Here we are, again, Saturday, and I am spending a rare day at home nesting and watching movies and living it up old school. I skipped the spin, skipped the yoga, and instead replaced it with eggs and tater tots for breakfast, some Gatsby snuggle time, and One for the Money with <a href="http://www.kheigl.com/" target="_blank">Katherine Heigl</a>. I figured I love the Stephanie Plum books as my blissful mental escape, might as well enjoy the movie just the same. <div>
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The <a href="http://stephenkingsgirl.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-cost-of-california-dreamin-and.html" target="_blank">summer in California</a> is happening. I needed this morning at home because the last week, basically ever since returning from my Cali spring break trip, I've been stressed. Stressed about finding a place to live for the summer, stressed about leaving my life behind here, stressed about money, stressed about my job, heck--stressed about YOGA. How that's even possible, who knows. I loved my time in Santa Barbara and I can't wait to get out there. I just hope I have more than my car to live in when I do.</div>
Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11579329.post-67484245362640841442013-02-09T20:06:00.001-06:002013-02-09T20:07:33.451-06:00SaturdaysSundays have been my favorite day of the week for a long time, as evidenced <a href="http://stephenkingsgirl.blogspot.com/2010/05/mmmmmsundays.html" target="_blank">here</a> and <a href="http://stephenkingsgirl.blogspot.com/2005/03/sunday-routine.html" target="_blank">here</a> (yep, that's 2005, people!), <a href="http://stephenkingsgirl.blogspot.com/2012/03/sunday-is-like-breathing.html" target="_blank">here</a>, and, of course, <a href="http://stephenkingsgirl.blogspot.com/2012/08/sunday-bliss.html" target="_blank">here</a>, where I pontificate on my longstanding love of Sunday.<br />
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Sundays, move over; Saturday is in the house. Saturday is totally my new favorite day. I still love Sundays; Sundays are awesome days full of teaching yoga, breakfast with good friends, and food prep afternoons....but Saturdays? *sigh* Saturdays are my new boyfriend.</div>
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Saturday morning I'm up early to enjoy the full duration of the day. Spin classes and yoga take up the morning and the early afternoon. Come 2pm, I'm home planted in the Great Red Chair of Sleep watching the Food Network. Gatsby and I venture out mid-afternoon for a walk and he finds his Saturday joy sniffing and snorting and running around. Other than that, I don't leave the house. </div>
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Maybe I should...I probably sound kind of anti-social. But here's the thing: Monday-Friday I interact with around 200 people directly, and am in the presence of more than 2000. On Sundays, I directly interact with around 50 people. Saturdays? I can limit my direct interaction to 2 people if I choose: my spin instructor and my yoga instructor. I need not speak to anyone else. So, in a way, Saturday is my day to refuel. To practice as much self-care as I can possibly manage in a 24 hour period of time. Sometimes that self-care involves other people--friends, family--but more often than not, once I'm home from yoga it's the Kelly-n-Gatsby show for the win. </div>
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So, while I will never lose my deep love for Sunday, I am very happy to welcome Saturday to the fold of days that make me feel very happy and very lucky. Tonight, my self-care involves the Wild game, Sliver (don't judge me), Ben & Jerry's pumpkin cheesecake ice cream, and chex mix. Gatsby is barking up a storm protecting our castle from some unknown, unseen threat. Life is very, very good.<br />
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Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11579329.post-27319428553472916622013-02-07T20:00:00.000-06:002013-02-07T20:02:14.940-06:00Ah, Caffeine.I "gave up" caffeine two weeks ago as a part of the 2013 Cleanse. I didn't plan on giving it up for good, but caffeine was a major reason for why I did the cleanse. Pre-cleanse I was back up to drinking 5-6 cans of Diet Coke a day (I know, it's disgusting). And I paid for it with a 3 day long headache during the cleanse. Post-cleanse, I just didn't really know what to do with the caffeine. I love how I feel without any caffeine in my system...I've been sleeping better, waking up better, not as tired during the day...it's been lovely. But, I like Diet Coke. And, I like Captain Morgan. I love the two of them together. And, I don't care what anyone says, drinking caffeine-free Diet Coke is an even bigger waste of money than soda to begin with.<br />
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Quandary.<br />
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So, then I got to thinking...I drink alcohol. It's not good for me. If I drank 5-6 drinks a day every day, that would be highly unhealthy. Drinking A drink, or a few drinks once in awhile, is a "treat." When I drink alcohol, it affects my sleep, and it makes my waking up a little more irritating. Because drinking a LOT of alcohol is bad for me--probably akin to drinking 5-6 cans of caffeinated beverage a day. So...<br />
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Is this just a lot of justification to give myself permission to drink a Diet Coke right now? Maybe. Probably. Bottom line is, I went two weeks without a drop of caffeine, which is pretty impressive in my book. And, I've never been of the mind that depriving myself of something I want is a good thing. In fact, depriving myself of something I want always seems to make me crave it more. I can eat chocolate, Asian noodles, pasta, olives, tater tots....lots of things that aren't necessarily all that good for me--in moderation. So, I'm drinking a Diet Coke. I will not be drinking 5-6 Diet Cokes. And, lest I fall into that pattern, may I humbly express right here:<br />
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KELLY! You do NOT want another headache of THREE DAYS. Drink water once in awhile. Drink your Diet Coke like you drink your booze, in moderation, and all will be right in the universe.<br />
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Am I alone here? What's your food/drink vice?Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11579329.post-70478542315604187372013-02-06T20:30:00.001-06:002013-02-06T20:30:55.502-06:00I don't often laugh at the misfortune of others, but...I really don't laugh at other people. I'm not much into physical comedy--usually I'm all "oh my gosh, is that person okay? How is that funny?" But I get it, lots of people are amused by people falling on their faces...Chris Farley and Will Ferrell made careers out of it, so I just accept that I'm in the minority.<br />
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Tonight, though, I got it.<br />
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So, at my spin studio, there's a women's locker room with one bathroom stall. Tonight, there's a woman in the stall when another woman comes into the locker room headed straight for it. The woman pushes on the door, and it opens....the other woman had forgotten to lock it. If you're starting to laugh, just wait. That's not even the funny part; that happens all the time and everyone is all apologetic and embarrassed and goes about their business.<br />
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Not tonight.<br />
<br />Tonight, the woman in the stall, upon being "opened," proceeds to launch herself at the door with a velocity that really only belongs in the "run for your life" category. Meanwhile, the woman who tried to open the door accidentally is using the proper protocol of apologizing and backing quickly away---which proved to be exactly the right thing, because bathroom stall woman is gunning for bear here. But....the door opens in. So, when she attacks the door, the door stops in its closed position, and the woman bounces off of it. She bounces backward onto the toilet, which doesn't have any more give than the door, so she bounces off of that too. Over the span of about 3 seconds, the woman ends up rebounding off of apparently every square inch of the bathroom stall sounding like thirty tennis balls in a dryer, and ends up square on her naked bottom on the floor of the bathroom stall.<br />
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I'm sorry, folks; it may be mean, but I DIED laughing.<br />
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And the best part (or the worst, if you're this poor woman) is that as I'm watching all of this, as she come to a splat on the stall floor, she *sighs.* As if to say, "Of course. This is exactly how my day would end, with my ass on the bathroom floor. FLM." I mean, we've all been there, right? (Well...not *there.*)<br /><br />So, ladies, what can we learn from this? If the bathroom stall opens, calmly reach out a hand and block the door--that's it. The other person will stop when they see the destination is occupied; there's no need for a panic. One must stay calm in all situations in which one's pants are around one's ankles. Seriously. Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11579329.post-27896104875055201502013-02-04T16:13:00.000-06:002013-02-04T16:13:13.087-06:00Golden YearsWhile waiting to check in to Suite B at the doctor's office, I see a woman sitting there who's pushing 90 and still reading without glasses. I am thoroughly impressed. Impressed enough that I pulled my sweatshirt down over my yoga pants/ass so she didn't have to pause in her reading to lament the young women of today and our harlotry. I wait for the woman in front of me to check in, then she sits down; I check in and I sit down. A few moments later, another woman comes in, doesn't even pause at the check in desk, just says her name and whatever test she's there for, then sits down. <br />
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One of the women greets the other by name and asks her how she is. "I'm great! We all are, right? That's why we're here!" The other two women laugh, and I smile into my book, because she's got a point: asking someone how they're doing while chilling in a doctor's office is kind of a gamble. The "I'm great!" woman follows up her comment with "Golden years, my ass!" to more laughter.<br />
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This is social hour for the elderly. I did not know this. All three women start talking to each other and to the check in nurse about everyone they know (and their ailments), and it's like they all met for lunch at Perkins or something. I was absolutely fascinated by this apparent subculture of our society. Absolutely delighted to have something to look forward to in 50 years!Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11579329.post-80050312964559560802013-02-02T19:00:00.001-06:002013-02-02T19:00:37.073-06:002013 Cleanse Conclusion: My Spidey SenseToday, the last official day of the cleanse, was an absolutely fantastic day. A cleanse resets the body, so food tastes better, the body moves a little smoother, the mind thinks a little clearer...everything is just, well, easier. Here is a list of the awesome things I did today:<br />
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1. Slept through the plows clearing the road in front of my house and my driveway. More importantly, Gatsby did too.<br />
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2. Returned to spin class with one of my favorite instructors, Natalie, for the first time in two weeks. Natalie is an animal on the spin bike, and I get my best calorie burn from her. I told her that this was my first post-cleanse workout, and she was all "Holy shit." I said don't worry, if I fall over I'm clipped in, and winked at her. She yelled "Don't say that!"<br />
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3. Grocery store trip #1 for grapefruit, which I was desperately craving. Got home and didn't have time to eat desperately craved grapefruit before heading to yoga, so I enjoyed an UltraClear on the way instead. <br />
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4. Yoga. Felt as amazing as spin class in a completely different way. Spent a good amount of time in handstand. Appreciated that I didn't have a gut full of diet coke and other crap. <br />
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5. Grocery store trip #2 for post-cleanse staples. Also to inadvertently demonstrate to the woman at the meat counter that I am something of a roast beef connoisseur. I don't know how that happened....she asked me about the difference between two types (the best she could offer me was that one cost $3 more than the other) and I waxed poetic about flavors, herbs, and sweetness for far too long.<br />
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6. Home to make Gatsby's day complete, make pesto for tonight, and NOT GRADE PAPERS. <br />
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A most glorious day, indeed. Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11579329.post-19154426586236440182013-02-02T00:26:00.001-06:002013-02-02T00:26:40.855-06:002013 Cleanse Day 8A little late tonight because I was out doing my new most favorite-ist thing EVER, teaching Candlelight Flow yoga at CorePower Yoga in Uptown. Tonight was my second week, and it was just awesome. Last week was also awesome. I love helping my students get ready for their weekend by getting rid of the week and creating space. Fabulous.<br />
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Anyway, cleanse update! We're in the homestretch, friends! Today I began to add foods back in. I had mango juice for breakfast, and white rice (whoohoo!) for my mid-morning snack/lunch. I was supposed to have an UltraClear in the afternoon, but after I got home from an appointment I totally cheated and ate Asian noodles. They're terrible for me, but I looooooove them. Total guilty pleasure. And, as it turns out, too much for my cleansing stomach. Don't worry, nothing gross happened....but I felt like crap. So, I had an UltraClear to try to erase some of my mistake. It didn't work. Good lesson for the future.<br />
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Tomorrow I can add back in even more foods. The goal as I add food back in is to add in simple foods and see how I react to them. This is a great way to test for gluten allergies, various food sensitivities, etc. For example, the noodles I ate tonight could have made me feel icky because of something in the noodles. I'll have to test them again an a day or so. <br />
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For dinner, more rice. I really need to stay with the vegetables. That's a huge area of improvement I need to make in my diet. First day I'm allowed to eat real food again and I cram myself full of carbs. Bad Kelly! But, we'll start over again tomorrow, and I'll do better with the veggies. Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11579329.post-24178058041823554282013-01-31T20:31:00.002-06:002013-01-31T20:31:35.431-06:002013 Cleanse Day 7: Almost to the finish lineToday was the last "intensive" day of the cleanse. Tomorrow, mercifully, I can eat carbs again! Can I get a "Holla!" over that one please? For real. <br />
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One of the things I've noticed about my personality is that I never close the deal. I set goals for myself, put myself into situations, accept responsibilities, etc. and I do them 9/10ths of the way....and then I stop. I'm the queen of "close enough." When I get "close enough," I decide that I did as good as I could do, but I'm obviously not strong/good/smart/talented/whatever enough to finish what I started. I do it in yoga postures, at work, at home. I do it with serious tasks like grading; I do it with silly tasks like doing the dishes. I often spend 20 minutes washing dishes, then I stop with two left and leave those two in the sink. <br />
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Today I started craving white rice. Not because white rice is all that great, but because tomorrow I can begin incorporating fruits, non-broccoli vegetables, and white rice back into my diet. So, 8 hours before my finish line (I call the day's close at midnight or when I'd go to bed, whichever is first), I decide I probably should just eat the rice. Nevermind that I've been handling cravings for a week. Nevermind that white rice on its own kind of sucks. <br />
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So I didn't eat the rice. And it has nothing to do with the cleanse. It has to do with my desire to finish something that I started. To not get "close enough" and then be done. If I've gone 4 days without white rice, I can do another 8 hours. And, now, it's less than 4 hours. This, my friends, is just as much about my patterns as it is about my eating. I have to learn to finish what I start.<br />
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Tomorrow I start reducing the UltraClear and increasing foods back into my diet. I have to make a decision about soda. I'm such a slave to it, and it's not enough to say "I'll just have a can once in awhile." That's not how this girl rolls. I have to either cut it out, or give in to it. I've already cut it out...but I'm not willing to say goodbye to Captain Diets. But, that's not a decision that needs to be made tonight; tonight, it was all about the rice.Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11579329.post-63503190912129731622013-01-30T21:11:00.000-06:002013-01-30T21:13:23.911-06:002013 Cleanse Day 6: Q&ADay 6 came and went without incident and, I can gratefully say, without any grading of any kind. I'm taking tonight to hunker down with Gatsby, watch hockey, read a fabulous book Friend Lora gave me (<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0385319959/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0385319959&linkCode=as2&tag=iawia-20">Outlander</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=iawia-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0385319959" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />...check it out!), and forget for one night that I'm responsible for the English education of some 154 future contributors to the world. <br />
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So, with that, I turn it back over to the cleanse and addressing a few questions that have been passed my way through messages. Note that all of the information here is just my own thoughts based on my own experiences. I'm not a doctor, and my thoughts should in no way be taken as medical advice.<br />
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<b>Tell me about <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004GLEU3M/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B004GLEU3M&linkCode=as2&tag=iawia-20">Metagenics - UltraClear</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=iawia-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B004GLEU3M" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />! </b><br />
UltraClear is a medical food made by Metagenics. There's a somewhat informative article about it <a href="http://www.livestrong.com/article/111087-use-ultraclear/" target="_blank">here on LiveStrong</a> (insert Lance opinion here) that gives some background. I haven't been able to find anything that suggests that UltraClear, when used for short periods of time, is unsafe in any way. Rather, it serves to provide the nutrients the body needs to sustain itself through a cleanse, while still honoring the "digestive rest" that is important to the cleansing process. More on that in a mo'.<br />
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<b>Can anyone do a cleanse? </b><br />
Yes and no. Like I said earlier, cleansing is not for everyone. If you have any sort of health situation going on at all, you really need to check with your doctor before partaking in a cleanse. The first one I did back in 2009 was with a group under the guidance of a coach in a program through CorePower Yoga. Since then, I've done multiple cleanses, only the last few without the supervision of a nutritionist. If you have struggled with an eating disorder in the past, you need to assess whether participating in a cleanse will be a trigger for you. If there's a chance it could be, don't do it.<br />
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<b>What are the benefits to doing a cleanse?</b><br />
For me, a cleanse serves several purposes, most of which are mental rather than physical. Physically, I lose some weight, my skin clears, I feel lighter, and I feel a lot more in-tune with my body's natural rhythms (such as they are). I also eat more vegetables. But mentally...that's where the magic happens. There are days, as I'm sure you understand, when I <b>need </b>a Diet Coke. When I <b>need</b> french fries from the cafeteria. When I don't <b>need</b> the doughnut from the office, but I sure <b>want</b> it a lot, so I eat it. And then I sit in the midst of my sugar crash and berate myself, especially in January, for not having more self-control. Cleansing reminds me that I do have self-control. It also reminds me that if I eat one doughnut, it's okay. That the danger is not <b>what </b>I eat, it's <b>how </b>I eat. Cleansing reminds me that a lot of times when I think I'm starving to death, I'm actually bored. Or thirsty. Or procrastinating. <br />
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<b>How much weight can I lose during a cleanse?</b><br />
A good friend asked me this question and I told her what I typically lose, but I'm not going to get real specific here on I Am Who I Am. First, as mentioned above, I'm cognizant of triggers for eating disorders. Also, that's a very individual question and I don't want to give you some "these results aren't typical" answer. I will say that every time I've cleansed, I've gained more than half of the pounds back within a week. A cleanse and a weight-loss program are two very different animals. If you want to lose weight, do a weight-loss program. If you want to detox your body, do a cleanse.<br />
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<b>How do you really feel?</b><br />
Right now? I feel like crap. I haven't eaten any solid food besides broccoli and apples since Monday. I'm sick of drinking UltraClear. I'm exhausted. My back hurts. I'm irritable. I'm whiny. I haven't had caffeine since Friday. I'm sitting here watching hockey and I want to be drinking a cocktail and eating popcorn...but I'm not (and, truthfully, I don't...my habit wants those two things, but I'm not really craving either one). Along about today, the cleanse really starts to suck, and I think "Why did I do this? Why don't I just eat a sandwich?" But I know from past cleanses that I'm in the middle of the woods in the dead of night right now, but I'm on the right path and very soon I'll start to see some trees I recognize, then some light...and I'll be out and okay again. <br />
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<b>What cleanse should I do?</b><br />
I would recommend the cleanse I'm doing (<a href="http://www.ecopolitan.com/health-services/specific-health-conditions/254-detoxification?start=7" target="_blank">The Ecopolitan UltraClear Plus 10 Day</a>). I would also recommend any cleanse you do under the supervision of a nutritionist as a part of a wellness program at a gym, yoga studio, etc.<br />
The better question is what cleanse should you not do....any cleanse that excludes essential nutrients from your diet (ahem, master cleanse, ahem), lasts longer than 7-10 days, or involves you putting more chemicals/pills/toxins into your body than it takes out should be avoided. Cleansing is kind of a big ticket word right now, and there are a lot of people out there who are peddling things they don't know anything about in order to make a buck. Remember, above all else, this is your BODY you're dealing with, and you only get the one. <br />
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That hits on most of the questions I've been getting over the last few days. If there are others I didn't touch on, feel free to drop a comment. Off to go hit my last serving of UC for the night--cheers!Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11579329.post-13934164462572517822013-01-29T20:20:00.000-06:002013-01-29T20:20:02.215-06:002013 Cleanse Day 5: The Halfway PointTonight, to celebrate the halfway point of the cleanse, I present to you a list of foods I thought about eating today, in no particular order:<br />
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1. Bagel<br />
2. Hot chocolate<br />
3. Tater tots<br />
4. Chicken kiev but with broccoli and cheese wrapped up in the chicken instead of butter<br />
5. Chicken kiev<br />
6. Pizza. Pepperoni with extra cheese and olives, if you're curious<br />
7. Olives<br />
8. Walnuts<br />
9. Guacamole<br />
10. Fried rice (but I totally blame <a href="http://foodbeast.com/content/2013/01/29/so-apparently-weve-been-using-chinese-takeout-boxes-all-wrong-video/" target="_blank">this video</a> for that one)<br />
11. Popcorn<br />
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That's about all I have for you this evening. I have two more days of the tough stuff, then I get to begin adding back in. Friday can't come soon enough!Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03303879412491768699noreply@blogger.com0