Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Extrapolation to the Extreme

I do this. I extrapolate. To the extreme.

Let me give you not one, but two examples of this.

Example the First.
I'm at my grandma's grave a few weeks ago, watering flowers, generally cleaning up the joint. Since I'm obsessed with graves and graveyards, I walk around the entire cemetary. It's outside the town proper of Clearwater, MN, which doesn't have much of a proper anyway. So, the cemetary is rugged to say the least. I'm walking around in my sandals and the weeds are all around, bugs are bad.
But, I'm a Minnesota girl and this is something I'm used to and aware of. Bugs are a part of my life, as are wooded areas. The normalcy ends here.

Instead of being an average girl and getting back into my car and driving home after paying my respects to my grandma, I start thinking of deer ticks and lyme disease. I imagine that if a tick got on me and bit me that I wouldn't see it. Then I'd get lyme disease and die. So I'm thinking, all the way home, that I need to get into a shower immediately so that I don't die.

Two problems with this.
1. If I was bitten I was bitten, and no amount of showering an hour after the fact would change that.
2. Lyme disease, while it's unpleasant as hell, doesn't kill people. It's incurable, but not fatal.

My dad says this is extrapolation to the extreme.

Example the Second.

When I crawled into bed last night after the Chuck Klosterman reading I started thinking about the weird girl named Jen that I ran into that I apparently know and made a great impact on, such that she was legitimately offended that I didn't remember her. Then I thought about all of the components that had to fall into place so that she and I would meet in that exact place at the exact time that Klosterman was signing my book. It's mindboggling, if you think about it.

Again, normal thoughts. Most people would say "Dude, far out" and move on.

Not this girl.

I extrapolate it out to say, "what if I had been meant to die at that precise moment? Or any moment?" Fate will direct circumstances exactly as it did to put Jen and I together in line when it designs my death, and I'll be none the wiser for it until it happens. So, basically, my death will be orchestrated around me, and I'll be a significant participant in having all of the elements work together to lead to my demise.

To the extreme.


Nance Knauer said...

OH! you are good at that. but what an advantage as a writer!

kim said...

this sort of reminds me of "what the bleep do we know"...