Yoga Sundays

My love of Sundays is well documented in this blog.  Search "Sunday" and you'll get some good reading, mostly about how I love to lay around on Sundays, grading and watching football, cooking, and chilling out as I prepare mentally for the school week ahead. (You'll also get one about how much I hate accounting and is maybe the most "first world problems" blog entry I've ever written, though that's not a guarantee...)

Now that I have a new job that doesn't involve frantically grading stacks of essays, a job that doesn't fill me with a sense of impeding dread beginning around 2pm, my Sunday love has a new focus. Of course, it's yoga.

My Sundays now begin and end with yoga.  I teach one class at 8:30am, then go to breakfast with the Beh Freh and her husband.  A trip to Trader Joe's later, I'm either back home or off to yoga class #2.  A few weeks ago I was offered the opportunity to take on a 3rd class, a 5:30pm "prime time" (even though it's a weekend) class.  I went back and forth before taking it; I didn't know if I could handle 3 classes in one day, especially on a Sunday.

One of the things I'm learning as I transition away from teaching high school English is how much of my weekend was spent working even if I was "relaxing."  A teacher's job is done exactly one day a year: the last day of school.  Other than that, even if the papers are graded, there is planning to be done.  Emails to answer.  Curriculum to be written.  Plenty to fill 25 hours a day.  I didn't realize until I didn't have the guilt anymore how much of my mental energy went to making myself feel bad that I wasn't working harder...that I even had a stack to grade, because I should have already graded it.  What a mess.

So, now I spend my Sundays not feeling guilty.  Instead, I'm so grateful to be able to, in some small way, help prepare people for their week ahead.   So that they can manage their own stuff, whatever that may be.  I still work as many hours teaching yoga on Sundays as I used to when I was grading papers.  But, rather that feel like I'm not working hard enough, I'm able to breathe and move.

And that, friends, catapults Sundays into a whole new, beautiful, realm of awesome.

The real reason I'm going to California...and what needs to happen to get me there

Today was the last Friday of the school year, and the shit kind of hit the fan.  I looked around my classroom and burst right into tears.  Not because I'm going to miss it (I am) or because it's such a raging disaster (it is), but because in one brief-yet-intense flash of clarity, I understood that I leave in one week and I have a month's worth of work to do before I go.

Before I get to my boring-ass list of things to do, which I will post here for my own accountability, here's the real, cross-my-heart, pinkie-swear, for-real-and-for-true reason why I'm going to California.

Ready?

I'm going to California because I have lost my way in Minnesota.  Five years ago, I had finally found my path.  Successful career? Check.  Fabulous boyfriend with a future? Check. About-to-be-published author? Check.  Then, I found yoga and I veered very sharply, very suddenly, to my left for a pit stop.  And, just like those beautiful scenic lookout points at the side of the road, the last few years where yoga has been the center of my existence have been breathtaking.  But, you know how after you've been sitting there for a few minutes, looking at the majesty of it all and taking pictures you'll never look at again so you don't forget how beautiful this moment is, you get a little bored?  You get a little like "Okay, let's get back in the car, we've got places to go!" That's me.  My life right now is that very beautiful scenic lookout, and I have overstayed my welcome.

My writing career has been calling my name.  Screaming it.  Everything in my house seems like me-from-five-years-ago.  Still awesome, but not quite right.  When I go to California, I intend to find my way again.  I've allowed myself to wander around off the map for long enough.  Coming home, I'll have a freshened up townhome and a brand spanking new job.  A path.

Things I need to do before I leave:
1.  Too fucking much
2.  Really.
3.  It's actually literally too much to list

I can't wait to keep you updated on this journey.  Feel free to ask questions, offer up words of encouragement, or check in on my progress anytime you like.

Put your dharma where your mouth is

I speak a LOT in my yoga classes about breathing.  How we practice the breath and add in obstacles (postures) to challenge the breath so we can increase our concentration, focus, and capacity to breathe even when the only thing we want to do is get.out.of.warrior.3.   All yoga teachers talk about this.  It's so prevalent it even has a name: dharma talk.  Blah blah blah, I say; "live your yoga off the mat."

"Practice it here so you can do it out there."
"Your breath will carry you through difficulty."

Today I had to put my dharma where my mouth is.  Full disclosure: I had a job interview today.  It's for a job within my same district, and it's a position I would absolutely love to have.  I'd be great at it, and it lines up with how I see my future in education.  I did as much preparation for the job as I could, got into my grown up clothes, and showed up to the interview ready to strut my stuff.  I think I managed to keep my face expressionless as I walked into the room to see ten people staring back at me.

TEN PEOPLE.

The most intense interview I'd had in my life up until today was for a teaching job in Bloomington in 1999.  Five people.  Ten people, twenty pairs of eyes, is intense, my friends.  I answered ten questions in fifteen minutes.  I remember snippets of what I said.  I hope that I put together complete sentences.  I am 90% sure I did not breathe from the moment I began to answer the first question until I got back into my car. Bad yogi!

So, let's go back to the practice of yoga for a moment.  At some point, life presents us with challenges.  Some easy, some repetitive, some so mindnumbingly tragic that we're all "Dude, Life, are you fucking kidding me with this?"  I practiced my yoga by applying for the job and going to the interview, no question.  In my pre-yoga life, I would have beaten myself before I clicked "submit" on the application.  I had the opportunity to deepen my practice by breathing through the interview itself.  Faaaail.  But, it's okay; how many times did I fall out of headstand before I could stay in?  And, let's not stop there: the yoga continues now.  Because my brain apparently enjoyed answering those 10 questions so much today that it wants to keep answering them over, and over, and over, and over again.  Really, Brain? You can't think of anything else to focus on?

Tonight my yoga "perfect" is in knowing that I did everything within my control to the best of my ability.  My yoga practice is in the other half--the part I can't control.  The part where I just need to wait.  To concentrate on other things.  To believe.  To breathe.

I tell my students "Yoga is a process.  It's a practice.  Do your best, but have compassion for yourself." If I can't practice that myself, then the yoga is lost on me.  Then the dharma is simply words, nothing more.  It ain't gonna be easy--let me tell you.  But, if I truly want to practice my yoga tonight, I need to breathe, put my interview suit away, turn off the phone, and trust that everything, truly, will work out exactly as it is supposed to work.

2013 Cleanse Day 4

And all of a sudden, I'm almost halfway through the cleanse! Whooooohoooo!  There are two turning points in the 10 day cleanse....day 4 (today), and day 8. Those days are so important to keep in mind not just when they arrive, but ahead of their arrival as well.  As in: I know I can make it through day 3, because day 4 is almost here, and day 4 is just one day from day 5, which is halfway through! (And yes, I tell this to myself. Out loud.  Sometimes in public.  Without apology.)

I woke up today well-rested.  Caffeine is out of my system, so I went to bed at a somewhat reasonable hour last night (11pm...reasonable for me!) and woke up at a reasonable hour feeling like I could actually get out of bed.  I didn't need a nap when I got home.  Measuring time from Diet Coke to Diet Coke (yes, I decided to capitalize it now) is no way to live.  But, when a person like myself starts and ends her day with Diet Coke, that's exactly what's happening.  I'm tired now, sure, because I worked all day and have worked for about 3 hours since I got home.  In other words, I've come by my tired honestly, rather than just hitting the wall of my caffeine addiction.

At work today, two of my colleagues said they could never do what I'm doing...they don't have the discipline, they need caffeine too much, they would bail out after two days, etc.  I just nod.  I've gone through the whole "oh you could *totally* do a cleanse! It's easy!" It's not easy.  It does require commitment.  And, it's not for everyone.  But, I will say: yes--you can do it.  If you want to.  But it won't be easy.

Alright, some of y'all have messaged me wanting to know about the...ahem....bathroom situation.  I'll be delicate.  Truth be told--there is no "bathroom situation."  The word "cleanse" seems to inspire thoughts of some scary colon blow type situation, or images of staying home from work to stay close to the bathroom.  Not with this cleanse.  There's nothing going on in my body that's any different from normal.  Well, things are a little different (insert delicacy here), but I'm not strapped to the bathroom, and I'm not wearing Depends.  Mmmmkay?  Whew....glad we got through that one!

Tomorrow I let go of lentils, and am left with the remaining food types for the next 3 days:  cruciferous vegetables, raw greens, fresh apples and pears, and apple/pear juice (as long as it's natural).  Plus my UltraClear, which I will begin to cling to like a heroin addict.  Because, dear readers, the last four days have been a warm up.  Days 5-7 are the intensive days.

But Friday is a'comin'.  Friday is Day 8.  I can totally make it to day 8.  And if I can make it to day 8, I can make it to day 10.  Count on it.

2013 Cleanse: Day 3

Today the rubber kind of hit the road....until I remembered that I can (and should!) eat vegetables from time to time.  Welcome to the reason I need to cleanse, I guess.  Apparently existing on carbs and diet coke doesn't work so well.  My raging headache continued all morning long, prompting me to sub out a yoga class and cry a little.  Then I made some vegetable soup with lentils this afternoon and life got a little better.

The other thing that made me cry a little, totally not cleanse-related, is the amount of grading I've been doing this weekend.  Non-stop, my friends.  It's the end of one quarter and the beginning of another.  I go through this every quarter--feeling really overwhelmed and unprepared--and every quarter I get through it.  But, in a time of cleansing, I think the difficulty is magnified.  It's becoming pretty clear to me that my food habits aren't the only thing I should be cleansing right now.  But, one thing at a time, right?

Tomorrow I eliminate rice and nuts, two of my staples for the last few days.  I'm upping the UltraClear, which will help.  I can eat fruits, vegetables, and legumes.  Nothing else.  I haven't been hungry, and I haven't really lost weight.  But, my guess is both of those things will happen over the next few days.  Suffice to say, I'll be laying low.

I'm also really missing my cleanse buddy,  Michelle.  It makes such a big difference to be doing the cleanse along with someone.  It's amazing how important an encouraging email/text/phone call can be.  So, that's my number 1 tip for planning a cleanse: get someone to do it with you.  A few people is even better.  But, get people who will really do it--not someone who is going to dip out after a day or so.  You don't need that temptation.  Michelle and I didn't always cleanse together, but when we did we were in it together, and neither of use ever stopped on the other.  If she was cleansing right now, I know we would have talked today about the experience so far.

Will update more tomorrow--assuming I survive the first day of 3rd quarter....ugh.

Kitten-Sittin'!

I'm a closet cat person.  I know, don't tell Gatsby.  I love him too--especially his feline tendencies. But, since I already have the dog and the chinchilla, I'm not so much allowed to invite a cat into the mix.  So, when my friend goes out of town, I jump at the chance to kitten-sit.  That's how I'm spending this week.

Friend lives downtown, so this week is as near to a vacation as I'm going to get this summer.  I chill here, get in touch with my inner Carrie Bradshaw, and enjoy life without a television (but non-stop Breaking Bad on my Netflix streaming....let's not get crazy her.)  I also give myself full permission to eat nothing but popcorn and drink non-diet soda.  So there.

I'm puttering through my self-help library this week as well, and trying to get a plan together for going back to work.  I'm committed to trying to live life a little more like the animals in my life...a little more chill, suave, go-with-the-flow, enjoying my people, and not stressing about the future or things I can't do anything about.  I'm also hoping that this commitment lasts longer than two weeks.  We'll see!

The one where I buy out the self-help section at Barnes and Noble

Usually by this time of the summer, I'm anxious to get back to work.  Back to the students.  Back to a routine.  My house is spotless, my life is fully organized and ready to be tossed into turmoil once again.

That is not the case this summer. This summer, I'm feeling a little bit right now like I did back in May.  Like I need a big, long, restorative, 3 month hiatus from the universe.  So, I've decided that I need to arm myself against the typical onslaught of drama, chaos, stress and hooliganism (my new word since I read it in a news article this morning) that is the first month of school.

Tonight I scoured the Barnes and Noble self-help section, looking for a little bit of love.  I found the following:

and 

I'm kitten-sittin next week and am going to use the time at my friend's place to take a little vacation on my last week of summer.  The plan is to read through each of these (except the Book of Awakening, which I'll take a bit longer to chew on) and hopefully gain some tools to deal with the work stresses I'm already being faced with before I even walk through the door.  Fingers crossed, peeps.

What do you do to keep your stress under control?

Crabby Pants

I'm crabby as can be today.  For no good reason.  Truly--I have nothing to be crabby about.  Did a little shopping today, took Gatsby for two walks, laid out in the sun, went to spin class, finished an amazing book....there is absolutely nothing in that list that should make me anything but ecstatic.  Today is the kind of day that will send me right over the moon in January.  Tonight? I'm just irritated.  And irritated with myself for being irritated.

I think, honestly, the problem is that I've spent too much time in my head lately.  I love relaxing during the summer, and it's true that I definitely need my "stay the hell away from me" time during the school year, but I have to admit to myself that I'm a people-person.  I just hate that.  I'd love to be a hermit; I'd love to be someone who not only didn't require human interaction but actually abhorred it.  But, I guess I wouldn't be much of a public school teacher if that was the case, and, given that that's how I spend most of my year, it's probably good I need the energy of others to be truly happy.

Tomorrow I'll teach some yoga, maybe go to a class, have some interactions with some people.  I'll try to leave the crabby pants at home.

Unsolicited advice

As a teacher who has, over the course of my career, taught roughly 12,000 students, I feel obligated today to share some advice with you.  "You" might be a parent, a teenager, a fellow teacher, or none of the above. You might agree or disagree with what I have to say.  This advice comes from a place in my heart that is tired of seeing teenagers commit suicide.  It's not an explanation, or an answer; it's a hope.

1.  When you teach a child that everyone is a winner, no one wins.  The accomplishments of the children who do excel are diminished, and the children who don't excel are taught that it's such an abomination to not succeed that it's simply not allowed.  Imagine if, rather than reducing everyone to the lowest common denominator, the adults in children's lives said "Listen, you come in last place in every race you run in.  Let's stop spending your time running--you're not good at it, and that's okay.  Let's find something you ARE good at, and spend our time and money building your strength, rather than hiding your weakness."

2.  It's okay to feel sad.  Even for no reason at all.  No one questions why someone is happy.  There's no medication for people who are happy all the time.  Guess what? Some people have really good reasons to be unhappy.  ALL of us, at some point in life, will have a good reason to be unhappy.  Be okay with it.  You can feel sad when you make a mistake, when you say goodbye, when you hurt someone, or when you hurt yourself.  Don't question it.  Feel it.  And don't let anyone tell you to cheer up, to get over it, or to stop dwelling.  Remember--no one will ever say to you "Jeez, do you really have to be such an upper all the time?" Sadness is the same emotion as happiness--it comes from the same place, and it disappears just as happiness does, if you give it the chance.

3.   You will have to say goodbye. Practice it when it doesn't matter, so you can survive it when it does matter.  When I was a senior in high school, around April, my whole class suddenly looked around and thought "God, I may never see any of these people ever again."  And we began to cling to each other.  I talked to people I hadn't talked to since we argued over the last swing in preschool.  It was horrible.  And thank goodness.  Because about 3 months after graduation, I began to recover from the loss of that familiar routine.  And about a year after graduation, I realized that I was going to be just fine.  So, when my grandma died, when my favorite professor died, and when I experienced my first death of a student, I knew I would be unhappy (see #2), but I also knew I'd be okay.  Why? Because I had said goodbye before...and I was okay every time I did it.

4.   School is important, and parents need to support it (even if they don't always like it).  Try this:  assign your child the task of doing the dishes for an hour a day, every day, for 9 months, and cleaning the toilet for an hour a day, every day, for 9 months.  And, because you're not completely cruel, give them an hour a day to play a sport they love.  Watch what happens.  Listen to them grumble about washing dishes and cleaning the toilet.  Let them be on their own for a bit.  Then, after a few weeks, stand next to them and say the following: "Man, I don't know why you have to do this either.  I haven't cleaned a toilet in 20 years.  After this 9 months, you'll never need to do this again, just get through it."
Your kids listen to you.  They listen when you diminish their need to do math or to read a particular book you hated in high school. They listen to you when you decide a week's vacation is more important than being in their classes.  They listen to you when you say that their school isn't worth your tax dollars, or that you can't believe these teachers want more money.  Do you think they'll disagree with you?  They won't...because you're who they trust above all others.  And when you wonder why "these teachers" can't be more inspirational or better at their jobs, know that, for every student, there's a subject equivalent to cleaning a toilet, to doing dishes, and to playing a sport they love.  Some teachers will make your child want to clean toilets for a living; they're that good.  Others, most, will simply teach your child how to clean a toilet well enough that they see that a job well done--any job--is fulfilling, and, finally, that some jobs, no matter how unpleasant, just need to get done.

So ends my lecture.  It saddens me that we seem to be raising teenagers that are all perfect, that are never supposed to feel unhappy,who never have to suffer any sort of loss, and who can blame any shortcomings on their teachers, their parents, or their biology.  Make mistakes.  Own what you do wrong.  Be sad.  LIVE!  It's the one job we have to do around here.

Freedom, sweet freedom!

Today was the conclusion of the 2011-12 school year.  Last night I poked myself in the face with an ice spear from my freezer, which is the clearest indicator ever that I need summer here pronto!

This year's end is rife with change and charged with emotion.  At the risk of being accused of being coy, I'll not say a whole ton about why that is just yet, except to say that this upcoming school year will be different; what has yet to be determined is the degree of difference.  I'm always excited to end a school year--it's the period at the end of a sentence, and, so, I'm required to start a new statement!

This summer I'll be teaching summer school.  I also have aspirations to buy a house.  And spend a ton of time with people that I've been getting to know better over the last year.  I'd also like to clean out my garage, sell half of what I own, and start an herb garden.  And, of course, yoga.  Always with the yoga.

In the next few days I'll be presenting y'all with a list of summer plans/goals.  Rest assured, it'll be a good list.  This is, after all the year of saying "yes." So far? So good.

Huh...will ya look at that!

Yep, that's me!  You should all go vote for me when the time comes (I'll let you know).

Tonight, the most fascinating thing this yoga teacher is doing is trying to decide on a cocktail.  I'm at that point in the school year where I've been contemplating what to drink for over an hour and I'm still thirsty--kind of like when you go to the grocery store starving and get nothing to eat because you have too many options.

Red wine?
Captain diet?

Do I have to choose??

Tomorrow is the last day of school....I....can....do....it...... :-)

Golden Rule Days

I should be grading right now, as I will be doing for the next 60 years of my life (slight exaggeration for effect...but, dude, the news said last night I may not be able to retire until after my 70s.  AFTER.  Like...teaching as an 80 year old.  Blimy.), but I needed to just check in, 8 weeks later, to let y'all know that

SCHOOL IS ALMOST DONE

That means I'll stop neglecting my dog, my friends, my family, my yoga practice, my dishes and, most importantly, YOU.  That's right...pretty soon I'll be back filling up your blog feeder with the nuances of my day to day summer existence.

Bet you can't wait, huh? ;-)

Boggles the Mind

One of the benefits of spring break is that, in addition to completely ignoring my to-do list, my brain gets to relax enough for me to.....think.  Here are some of the thoughts that have crossed through my brain in the last 6 days:

1.  Think of the people who you love and can't imagine living without.  Now, imagine what power it took for the universe to place you with that exact combination of people all at the same time all together.  We're not just talking a span of years here--we're talking *centuries*.  Millions of years to choose from, yet here you are.  With your best friend, your husband, your wife, your sister, your dad.  Think of all of the possibilities--and, when you do, take a moment to appreciate those people.  Not just that they exist, but that they exist at the same time as you.  And that you found each other.  Amazing.

2.  When I eat pasta, I crave rice, pizza, and diet coke.  (yes, it's less profound than #1...don't judge.)

3.  I could totally stand to teach yoga full-time.  I couldn't afford to do it, but I would absolutely dig it.

4.  The time vortex.  Why is it that one day of school takes the same amount of time as five days of break?  If I start to think about the fact that it's already Thursday--and Thursday evening at that--I start to get a little shaky.  So, Imma stop thinking about that right now.

5.  Finally, I'm excited to eat sushi tonight.

That is all.

The Spring Sigh

Spring break has FINALLY arrived.  I truly wasn't sure I'd make it to this one.  The kids have been acting like it's May, the rooms are a hundred degrees (or below zero), and my skin wants to get its tan on.  All good things normally, except when you consider that it's actually March.  But all of that is behind me now, because for the next nine days, I am, to a degree, free.

So, with that, I present to you: the Spring Break 2012 List of Things to Accomplish:

1.  Get all grading done.  Preferably on the earlier end of the break...but based on past precedent I'll be scrambling at midnight on Sunday night (April 8th) trying to get a foot high pile of grading done in an hour and grumbling that if I had just broken the pile down into 9 smaller piles, I could have taken a manageable bite each day.

2.  Spring cleaning!  Swabbing down the house, for reals.  The dog goes to doggy day camp and I vacuum until I can't vacuum anymore.

3.  Tackle the garage.  This is a new one this year.  My garage barely has room for my car.  I need to go through clothes, furniture, random crap, and clean the place out.

4.  Yoga.  Teaching, practicing, sculpting...I gotta do it all.

5.  Reading and Viewing.  I have 3 books (Hunger Games, Echolocation, and 1963) that need finishing.  I also have 3 movies that need watching. It's pretty pathetic when I'm even behind on my leisure.

6. Try a few new recipes.  My blender is feeling neglected.....I've thrown her over for black bean quinoa burgers, pasta, oatmeal and soup.  We need to spend some quality time rebonding.

That's it.  That's enough, right?  Again, past precedent says I'll only accomplish about 20% of this list, but you can rest assured I'll get a lot of napping in.

Sculpting the body--and the mind

I'm addicted to school.  Truly.  I can't stay away from the classroom in any sense of the word.  Five days a week I teach in the high school classroom, and on the weekends I teach in the yoga classroom.  But, even that's not enough.  Back in 2007 I decided I wanted to become a funeral director...I'm  little suspicious that I just really wanted to be a student again.  I hung around school (and funeral homes) for 3 years, then decided that maybe my master's in special education would be more appropriate, so I switched schools and programs.  In August of 2011, I finished my program and, starting in September, was officially Not a Student.

I've floated aimlessly along for a few months now, calculating how expensive this school addiction actually is and how I really need to have a different job than teaching (say....million dollar heiress, for example?) in order to support my habit.  And I stopped looking at University websites, MFA programs, and other academic temptations.

But, the siren song of yoga teacher training is never far away, and the time comes around occasionally when I just can't ignore it.  Enter: Yoga Sculpt Teacher Training.

......

Yes, exactly.

I'm not a sculpter.  I, in fact, kind of secretly (though not anymore) really dislike yoga sculpt.  Because I'm terrible at it.  There's nothing I do in my daily life that beats me down more and screams "you are weak!!!"  With actually more exclamation points than that, but I can't bring myself to type them.  I joke (but not really) that I sculpt "annually."  And that, friends, is exactly why I'm in the teacher training.  People ask "why are you doing it if you hate it so much?" My answer? "Because I hate it so much...and I need to love it."

That's kind of how I roll.  And, I am absolutely LOVING this training.  And it's making me love sculpt and want to go take classes all the time.  I can't wait to sculpt tomorrow and next week.  My mind is being sculpted here far more than my physical body, because it needs more sculpting.  And when I'm done with the training, I probably won't test out to teach it (famous last words), but I will have taken the steps to sit down with my old enemy Sculpt and apologize for pre-judgment.  I'm buying it lunch, and I'm hopeful that we can be friends from here on out because, as it turns out, my good buddy Sculpt is a pretty nifty friend to have around.

Hyper-extension

Yeah, not my muscles.  My schedule.

I do this to myself.  Confession time again--I tend to take on more than I should.  It really comes from a place of not wanting to make choices or decisions, so I just keep piling it all on and navigating my way from place to place.  Over a two week time period, for example, I'm doing the following:

--teaching the regular high school gig and finishing off the quarter
--going through Yoga Sculpt Teacher Training, which meets for 24 hours between Friday and Monday.
--teaching or subbing 6 yoga classes at 3 different CPY studios

And amid all of that, I'm trying to be a decent mom to Gatsby, and get some exercise in from time to time.  And that, my internet friends, is what we call "hyper-extension: schedule edition."  For reals.

Of course over the same two week time period, I also worked in a happy hour with one friend, a night out with another, and a Wild game with a third.  So, at least I'm keeping some balance.

Sleep? That's another matter entirely.

But, spring break is coming up, and that week is the saving grace of every teacher every year.  We stretch, stretch, stretch until we almost reach the breaking point----and then spring break comes along and it's like someone lifting an anvil off my chest (I imagine).  Total freedom, time to sleep in, time to read, time to walk around, time to--in short--bliss out.

I have break in 9 days.  I've dug my nails in and I'm ready to push through those 9 only because of what I know is waiting on the other side:  recovery.

Lazy Sunday

All I want to do today is lay around.  All I've done for the last hour since I've been home from yoga is lay around.  I am very comfortable, and I'd like to not move until tomorrow morning when it's time to go to work.

Unfortunately, that's not how life is going to go for me today.

My current status:
House: disaster
Grading: hopelessly behind

It's nice outside.  I want to be out there.  But, by the time I fix my current status, it will no longer be nice out.  In fact, by the time I get caught up on all my grading, the snow could well be flying again.

Oh well.  Fortunately Sundays are often lazy days for me, so I can afford to work quite a bit today and give up just ONE Sunday.  But, if anyone wants to take some of this grading off my hands, I'd be much obliged :-)

Practice makes perfect?

I know this is hard to believe, but I was rather....unathletic...as a child.  Actually, for people who have only known me for a year or so, it probably actually IS hard to believe.  But, for the people I've known forever, well, they all know the truth.

I was on the volleyball team in 7th grade (the year they let everyone onto the "team" because they were building our self esteem).  I found the speech team in 8th grade, and the only time I set foot into a gym after that was for phy ed class...and then I was totally one of those girls who lollygagged getting changed into my gym clothes, held the wall up for as much of class as possible, waved my arms around when the teacher was looking, and was more concerned about getting my hair back to "perfect" before the next class.

But I digress.

When I began my yoga journey over 4 years ago, my goal was not to become a hardcore athlete.  The words "athletic," "flexible," and "strong" just never applied to me, and I figured that, like becoming a figure skater or professional dancer, my dreams of becoming an athlete were destined to be abandoned with the reality of, well, reality.  And for a few years, I practiced my yoga.  Then I decide that yeah, sure, I'd get my certification and teach the yoga.  Then my yoga would be free!  And, when I did my teacher training, I discovered something: sometime over the last two years, I had lengthened my hamstrings enough to touch my toes--something I had never, ever been able to do.  Not even when I was, like, five.  And I looked around at all the beginners in my classes and thought "I used to look just like you when I was new....and now I don't."

Fast forward to this week, when, following my spin class, the owner of the studio approached me and asked if I taught bootcamp classes.  After I picked myself up off the floor and wiped the tears of laughter from my eyes, I realized he was serious.  And I realized that, over the last six months or so, I've been slowly transforming myself.  Losing weight for Mexico led to starting spinning classes and watching what I ate.  Watching what I ate led to healthier food choices and to learning how to cook things at home.  I used to eat out 5-6 times a week...now I would have to look at a calendar to see the last time I ate a meal I didn't prepare myself.  And I thought about how I've been "practicing" all of these behaviors, with no real end point in sight, and how it's led to unbelievable success.  Whereas if someone had told me 6 months ago to cook a meal of tilapia, egg whites, and wilted spinach like this: 

Again with the laughter.  

What I've learned, then, is that practicing something actually makes you better at it.  I know--earth shattering, right?  But this little lightbulb is what lit my path to saying "yes" to enrolling in Yoga Sculpt Teacher Training today.  A few months ago, a good friend said "You should totally do YSTT."  I laughed (I laugh a lot) and said "Never.  I will never, ever, do sculpt training.  I'm ridiculous at sculpt."  But I thought "Well, if you practice it, maybe you won't be ridiculous at sculpt anymore."

And so I went to sculpt class tonight.  And in my head, rather than think "oh my gosh, you suck at this. Dude, breathe right! Oh, man, please just try not to hurt or embarrass yourself" I thought, instead, "Okay, here's something you need to practice.  Here's something that you can master if you spend some time with it.  Look--you're way better at this than you were the last time you tried it!"

Practicing.  I make my students do it all day long.  Then I send them home with more practice to do. I make them practice on their own, with a partner, in groups, over and over again.  And I expect them to do it--because how else will they become good at it??

And behold, the teacher becomes the student.

Beware the Ides of March

As a good English teacher, it's my responsibility to tell you what can happen to you today.  Be forewarned:

Basically, what happens is Caesar gets all cocky about his awesomeness, and the Soothsayer warns him to beware March 15th (the "ides"...which actually happens every month, though not always on the 15th).  Helpful household tip: you should always listen to a Soothsayer.  But, Caesar didn't, and he got betrayed, assassinated, and all deadified, all because his response to "Beware the ides of March" was basically "schmeh."

So today is a day to watch your back, basically.  But,  you're watching your back...for yourself.  Because the essence of the Ides is that when bad things happen on this day, it's your own darn fault for not paying attention enough to stay out of your own way.

So, good luck today.  And, just in case no one else tells you, I will.  Because I care about you.

Beware the ides of March!

My New Crush

I have a dirty secret, and it's time I came clean with it.  I've fallen in love.  I fell fast and hard, and it was, as the best crushes are, completely unexpected.  One day, several weeks ago, I innocently googled "protein muffins." I wanted to find out if there was such a thing, and, if so, either buy or make them so that I could start building more protein into my diet.  

I came upon this: 

long awaited pumpkin protein muffin

I thought, "Sweet...I like pumpkin, and there's my protein!"

I clicked, and life hasn't been the same since.

The owner of the "long awaited pumpkin protein muffin" is a lovely girl named Chelsey, who lives in Chicago.  She's a teacher, she practices yoga, and this girl loves to eat.  Not only does she love to eat--she loves to eat *healthy*.  And, because she's a teacher, her blog is entertaining, informative, and, best of all, instructional and accessible.  She posts pictures of the yummiest foods, and, when I try to make those same foods...they look like her pictures!! How could I NOT be in love?  

Over the last few weeks, I've made the following:

Protein muffins (aaahhhhmazing)

Overnight oats (delicious)

Roasted maple cinnamon almond butter (yep, as good as it sounds)

Roasted vegetables

Black beans from dry rather than the can

I've purchased things like flax seeds, almond flour, and other cooking materials I've never used before (or heard of, in some cases), and the result is that I'm cooking all the time, enjoying it, and eating really delicious food.

I'm in love with this girl! And I think you will fall in love with her too, so you should check out her blog and follow it.  I'm sure that not everything she tries turns out. I'm sure that, like me, she burns her toast from time to time, and the dog sheds, and she's got a husband which is a whole different type of complication I don't live with.  But, she makes it look so easy, and, more importantly, she describes the things she makes in such a way that *I* believe, too, that it's easy.  And then it delivers--both in ease and in taste.

Tonight I'm going to be making something....maybe pancakes, maybe something totally different.  But, I need to give a BIG shoutout to Clean Eating Chelsey from Chicago for helping me along on my journey to eat healthy.

Who are you crushing on right now? :-)