Friday, May 31, 2013

The real reason I'm going to California...and what needs to happen to get me there

Today was the last Friday of the school year, and the shit kind of hit the fan.  I looked around my classroom and burst right into tears.  Not because I'm going to miss it (I am) or because it's such a raging disaster (it is), but because in one brief-yet-intense flash of clarity, I understood that I leave in one week and I have a month's worth of work to do before I go.

Before I get to my boring-ass list of things to do, which I will post here for my own accountability, here's the real, cross-my-heart, pinkie-swear, for-real-and-for-true reason why I'm going to California.


I'm going to California because I have lost my way in Minnesota.  Five years ago, I had finally found my path.  Successful career? Check.  Fabulous boyfriend with a future? Check. About-to-be-published author? Check.  Then, I found yoga and I veered very sharply, very suddenly, to my left for a pit stop.  And, just like those beautiful scenic lookout points at the side of the road, the last few years where yoga has been the center of my existence have been breathtaking.  But, you know how after you've been sitting there for a few minutes, looking at the majesty of it all and taking pictures you'll never look at again so you don't forget how beautiful this moment is, you get a little bored?  You get a little like "Okay, let's get back in the car, we've got places to go!" That's me.  My life right now is that very beautiful scenic lookout, and I have overstayed my welcome.

My writing career has been calling my name.  Screaming it.  Everything in my house seems like me-from-five-years-ago.  Still awesome, but not quite right.  When I go to California, I intend to find my way again.  I've allowed myself to wander around off the map for long enough.  Coming home, I'll have a freshened up townhome and a brand spanking new job.  A path.

Things I need to do before I leave:
1.  Too fucking much
2.  Really.
3.  It's actually literally too much to list

I can't wait to keep you updated on this journey.  Feel free to ask questions, offer up words of encouragement, or check in on my progress anytime you like.

1 comment:

Camie said...

Hang in there, Kel and remember your mantra for the week. If it doesn't get done, it didn't need to get done. I'd be lying if I didn't admit I was a little jealous that you're DOING THIS CALIFORNIA THING!

I just watched the Zach Sobiech video (again), and again, it reduced me to tears. You only get one chance to live your life, so go do this! Meet new people. Walk along the beach at sunset. Get up early and spend a day writing. Things will be different when you come back and that will be good. You'll be just fine. Trust me.