Tuesday, December 28, 2010

So not a fan of my paranoid side

I love 11 days off. I do. And you'll never hear me complaining about time away from school/work.


Not having a routine can stir up all manner of shit in my head. I'm a creature of habit. And, when those habits get disrupted, my paranoid side gets all fussy. So, tonight I actually texted a friend to see if she was mad at me. Why? Because she hasn't been texting me "as she normally would." I didn't think she was mad because I've actually done something questionable, or because she yelled at me or isn't speaking to me or doing any of the normal "I'm displeased with you" activities. No, Paranoia sets in and, because I'm not working, I have all day to blow it up in my head to where I think she hates me and we're no longer friends. Just 'cause.

I say often how I'd love to marry rich and never have to work again, but I need to work. I'd end up in the asylum if I didn't have a job to get me out of my head for 8 hours a day. Kind of a bummer, but that's how I roll.

Oh, and the friend is not mad. She told me. Tentatively. And then said I was a freak. And, she's right.

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