Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Forces are conspiring against me

Remember my extrapolation? Yeah, here you go.

First of all, reading this message: "The Virtual Studio is down for a hardware upgrade. It should be back up by Friday Morning.Sorry for the inconvenience!" doesn't help anything. Friday? It's TUESDAY. I'm sure some people were in the loop on this one but I wasn't one of them and I depend on the virtual studio for, well, okay mostly social stuff, but I was hoping to post a story tonight to get feedback so I can give something slightly presentable to my class on Thursday, but no. Not going to happen. Oh well, it's a free site so I suppose I can't bitch too much. A little, absolutely.

Second, school. School, school, school. I get very overwhelmed this time of the year, and I end up wasting a lot of time because I simply don't know what to do. I get all panicky and freaked out and then my breathing starts to get weird and I start to shut down. I have no idea why...this is my seventh year teaching. I should have a grip on how to start the year.
But, going back becomes an increasing struggle for me the more I get into writing. It's like being given free reign to do whatever you want for a long enough time that you get into habits, routines, and discover that you really love life, then having all of that taken away and replaced by a schedule that is, literally, to the minute. Class starts at 7:25. My lunch is from 11:38 until 12:27. Not 11:40-12:30.

It's a rough period of adjustment that no one understands because everyone is all "bitch bitch bitch, you have summers off, quit complaining." Well, I don't ask for my summers off and anyone who tells me to quit complaining had the option to become a teacher him or herself and they decided against it for one of a variety of reasons, I would guess, that aren't limited to "I want more money" and "What, teach teenagers? Are you nuts?" So the people who tell me that I shouldn't complain can just shove off.

Of course that's not any of you fine folk, because you're my friends!!


Myfanwy Collins said...

Seven years! Do you have the seven year itch?

I admire you for teaching for that long. It's great. The longest I've ever been at one job (other than the current self-employment) is just over two years.

kim said...

hey I can't tell you how much your appreciated, where else can you get a free babysitter...huh! I'm wait that's a stupid pun isn't it..okay time for coffee. I do understand paralysis when faced with the overwhelming task of doing something you don't love as much as something else.

Kelly said...

I've had the seven year itch for about six years!! lol.
No, I enjoy teaching, I really do, and I'm good at it, I think, so that's a good enough reason to continue doing it.
Plus, I think I just hate to work in general...nothing to do with the teaching.