Friday, June 16, 2006

The big explanation

I feel that I owe the general public some sort of explanation as to why I've been talking about nothing but Kids Incorporated for the last twelve hours. The fact is, this show was the single most influential aspect of culture in my life until the age of 11. As an only child of two working parents, I spent a lot of time in front of the television. Rosie O'Donnell made a career out of it, I chose to just continue to park my ass on the couch as a recreational activity. Who ended up better? Hmmm.
Anyway, I digress. I lived and breathed two things: Kids Incorporated (hereafter "Kids Inc.") and Silver Spoons. Kids Inc. was the show I absolutely could not miss. My first real girl crush was on Gloria. Gloria was played by Martika and when her album came out I made my mom drive me to Woolworths that day and I scanned the tape section frantically and when I paid $10.99 for it I felt like it was the best money I had ever spent.
So, Kids Inc was on in the morning and it was the only thing worth getting up for on the weekend. I think it was on Sunday mornings but I'm not sure. Later when it changed to the Disney Channel it was on in the afternoon. Anyway, I would take my dad's tape recorder and hold it against the television speaker so that the microphone was against it, and I would sit like that for thirty minutes, editing out the commercials. If anyone made even the slightest noise during this thirty minute worship it was, literally, the end of the world. I would play the tapes, sing the songs, and pretend I was a member of the cast or at least a member of the audience in the P*lace because I knew I couldn't really sing.

Kids Inc was one of those wholesome shows that should still be on the air. They dealt with such issues as Gloria getting her tonsils out, Renee getting glasses, Ryan getting lost in a book and becoming the main character, Stacy running away because her parents won't let her keep a bunny, real kid problems!! And they danced like kids should, without their non-existant boobs hanging out or shaking their non-existant rear ends.

When Kids Inc went off the air I didn't notice because the cast had almost completely changed and I had, unfortunately, outgrown it. But the memories I have of the three years between ages 8-10 that I watched that show hit me in a place that I can still pull up, apparently, twenty-odd years later.

The song "They Don't Know" was peformed by Renee in 1985 during the episode "Soc Hop" when the kids at the P*lace decided to hold a soc hop. I had to look this up, of course, but I remembered the important parts.

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