Lord help me. Actually, in this case, the Lord may not be enough.
Here's my tale.
Gatsby the Adorable is nearly seven months old. He has never been fully potty trained, although he's been damn close for about three months. He still has accidents in my house, at my parents' house, and at Greg's house. Normally we just clean it up and I briefly wonder if I'll ever have a trained dog.
Greg is getting new carpet, and I will die if Gatsby has an accident on his brand new shag. I'd be pissed if I got new carpet and Gatsby went on mine, so I can only imagine if someone ELSE'S untrained dog was the first to mark it. So, the pressure to be 100% trained has escalated.
I decide to reach out to other cavalier owners for some help. BIG mistake.
Here is my request for help.
The first response was an all caps bold (in case I'm hard of reading) demand to not spank my dog. Got it. Spanking is bad, I will discontinue the spanking. Duly noted.
But wait!! Obviously the clearly stated, all caps, bold type was not enough. FIVE other people need to state in FIVE different ways that I should not spank the dog, including someone asking if I would spank my child if he/she had an accident (if my child was four years old and shit on my carpet, yeah, I would spank him/her. No question.) and someone else telling me that I'm psychologically damaging my dog and he'll eventually respond by biting the face off of my child (probably the same one I beat whenever he/she has an accident).
Now I really understand, thank you. Thank you also for the warm welcome to the site. Oh, wait, no, none of that. Thanks for the advice on the issue I actually asked about, oh, wait....Well, I can't say that no one did that. Some people towards the end gave some excellent suggestions (including the end of the 'you're psychologically damaging your dog' post) and were very warm and helpful. Thank you to those fine people.
I'm guessing that PETA probably has a line on my home and by the time I get home from class tonight there will be a note on Gatsby's kennel demanding that I complete a parenting course before the return of my dog.
Meanwhile, Gatsby, in all of his beaten, abused, psychologically damaged glory, is hanging out on the floor at my feet chewing on a rawhide.