Thursday, January 25, 2007

A bitch slap from beyond.

Well, the last time I wrote I was having a bad day. I felt fat, exhausted, and pretty much hopeless. The reason for that became abundantly clear today. January 23rd, day of fatness, exhaustion and hopelessness, was the day my grandma died two years ago. Grandma never did like being forgotten, and I'm pretty sure that my rotten day was a direct result of overlooking this event.

In some ways I'm happy that I missed it because it means I'm healing. In other ways I'm saddened because it's been so long since I've been with her. Things have changed, and not for the better.

My grandpa's girlfriend (a phrase I still have difficulty with) has developed a taste for gambling and since she has no money she uses my grandpa's. She won $250 on slots one night and kept the money for herself, without paying back my grandpa any of the money he had given her.

My grandma loved the slot machines, but she loved the sound of the quarters. She could take or leave the money itself, she just loved hearing the "clink clink clink" of the coins. One of my best memories, one of my last memories, with my grandma is of us in Vegas gambling at the slots.

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