After a lengthy conversation with Jodi tonight, I'm simmered down. When I freak out and panic beyond all reason, I go to my single women friends who don't judge my hysteria and offer precisely the right suggestions or listening for what I need. Jodi is often the best choice for this type of conversation.
And, after the chat, a nap, a diet coke, and Hell's Kitchen, I'm more myself than I was this afternoon when I was ready to burst out of sheer irritation. I'm very lucky to have the outlets that I do, and I need to remember that things only get worse inside my head. Holding everything in all day long and pretending that I was fine only pushed me into a bad place that I couldn't get out of on my own. I'll probably wander in there several times this week as I'm reminded every day of Craig's death, but it'll be okay. It's okay to be unhappy about this whole deal.