Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Some observations from a 100 minute drive home in rush hour traffic...

Bumper Sticker--'Start Seeing Motorcycles.' Okay...I'll make a deal with you. I'll start "seeing" you when you stop driving like an asshole. If you're in your lane of traffic (IN the lane, not on it, near it, or somewhere in between it) with your helmet on and are driving the speed limit, rest assured that I see you. And I'll give you space because that's what respectful drivers do. When you're tooling along on the shoulder of the road at 75 mph with no helmet because it doesn't fit over your ear buds, weaving in and out of traffic and causing everyone headaches, don't be surprised if I don't "see" you.

Changing Lanes:
Listen, when there's an accident that has closed down two lanes of traffic, people will need to get into your lane. It's a fact. It's not something the universe designed to make life difficult for you, it just is. So leave a crack of space between you and the car in front of you. Guess what? When people take turns and allow merging, the end result is that things ultimately move *faster*--not slower. So you're being nice AND you get home quicker. What a country! OR, you could be a total jerkoff and not move over for anyone, including the guy who needs to get out of the way of the police car with his sirens blaring because, well, you need to stay ahead of THAT guy. For sure.

The accelerator:
I think we all figured out, probably many years before we actually set foot to one, what the accelerator does. And, those of us really detail oriented people noticed that you can make your engine make noise depending on how hard you press on it. Fun! If you like making this "engine music", do so. In neutral. In your driveway. Or on the driver's ed course. Revving your engine while fully stopped in bumper to bumper traffic in 90 degree heat doesn't impress anyone. Use your radio (or your ear buds, motorcyclists, since for whatever reason you don't need to hear the traffic that the rest of us do....right, because you don't need to "see" us) to provide music.

And while we're on the accelerator, the nice thing about the foot and the accelerator is that they work in tandum to give the car a certain amount of speed. You can control how fast your car goes. When there is another car two feet in front of you, maybe don't floor the accelerator. You do have a choice. You can press down lightly on it and the car will still go. I promise. It's not a switch that needs to be flipped on to 60 or off to zero. There are numbers in between.

And, finally: Accident causers
Dude, I don't know whose fault it was, but undoubtly it was somebody's fault. To the causer of the accident--please, if you don't care about your own car, your own welfare, your own whatever, please consider those of others. Because you needed to get into the other lane, send a text message, prove your manliness, or just because you were too dumb to look around, HUNDREDS of other people were late getting home to their families. I know you're the most important person in the world, we all know you are, but maybe you could just cut us a break once in awhile?

Thank you.

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