Sunday, September 21, 2008

Things I saw at Wal-Mart

Due to recent financial duress I've sunk to not only shopping at Wal-mart, a store which I believe is nearly singlehandedly responsible for the downfall of America, but to looking only at the "price per unit" on any item I buy. It's embarrassing. So, to keep myself amused, I keep track of things that happen that could *only* happen at Wal-mart.

So, for your amusement (and mine), I present my second list of the day:
Things I saw at Wal-Mart

1. A woman in pink sweatpants and a cart filled with 25lb bags of cat food walking down the aisles yelling "Connie!"

2. Dale Gribble

3. An Asian man who, walking toward me with his cart, stopped his cart directly in my path, smiled at me, then walked away sans cart halfway down the aisle to get some dish soap

4. Really. Dale Gribble.

5. A teen in a Blink 182 t-shirt who was either jamming out to the music in her head or having some type of seizure near the Pringles

6. Another teen standing in the dairy throwing a temper tantrum for cheese. "Moooooooommmmmmmm.....CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEUUUHHHHHHHHH"

7. Dale Gribble was not smoking a cigarette. Had he been smoking a cigarette, you'd have had to pick me up off the floor for laughing.

8. Nick the Cashier who said "You look like you're having a rough day, if you don't mind my saying," after explaining why it was he was on cashier tonight instead of on sales where he was supposed to be, not one word of which I understood. But he was still adorable. And he wished me a happy Sunday, which is more than anyone else did today.

9. The "Connie" screamer. I saw her four times. Connie, for the record, did not appear, though I did see a ten year old girl running surreptitiously down the meat section. Probably Connie.


Leah said...

Hahaha Dale Gribble.

When I lived in ND the ONLY place you could shop was Wal-Mart. I spent many a day with my ex laughing at all of the people we saw there.

I'm surprised you didn't list how many people you saw limping. It's like a rule in order to shop there. You must have a limp. Or a cane/wheelchair.

Kelly said...

I KNOW!! Or the Hoverround. Like everyone needs a cart to haul themselves around in.