Monday, December 14, 2009

"The List"--a three month check in

Yeah, I fell off track there for awhile, no question. But, I'm getting back to normal, and I'm thinking (especially with the loveliness of Christmas coming up) that I'm gonna be just fine. I did an advanced yoga class last night for the first time since the accident and it felt like coming home. Seriously, aside from the screaming pain in my ribs in certain postures, my body was like "yeeeeeeessssssssssssssss!"

And, now that I've been working with The List, admittedly more off than on, it's time for a check in, refocus, and update.

The List:

1. I will take care of my body. I will eat nutritionally and go to bed at a reasonable hour. I will not take naps, rather I’ll do energizing activities like cleaning or walking or running.

Nope. Literally not one thing. I've been eating like a teenage boy, going to be at 1-2am (up at 6am for work), and taking naps at every available opportunity. Walking? Running? Ha...good one.

Refocus: I'm going to go through my cookbooks and plan one meal a week that's a fully organized affair. Just once, which will then buy me lunch the next 1-3 days. Baby steps. Sleeping...always hard. I think spending less time on the computer (see below) will enable me to accomplish more during the evenings and, thus, get me to bed earlier.

2. I will manage my time. My time is precious, and I shouldn’t waste it. I need to use it doing activities that I enjoy and that help me relax. And I need to remember that Facebook and computer games are nice but they aren’t mentally stimulating or a good use of time. I will limit my use of the computer games.

Not great here, but not horrible either. I've reserved Monday evenings as my "home night" and Wednesdays as the night for my personal yoga practice. When I'm at home, I need to remember that there was a time when Facebook didn't exist. It's easy for me to see how teenagers can get so addicted--hell, *I'm* addicted and I'm a responsible, intelligent adult.

Refocus: Going to try to either limit my computer time to an hour an evening or take one day a week "computer free". I'll try both to see which is more effective...

3. I will continue a regular yoga practice. I will practice 2-3 times a week, balancing C1 and C2 classes, as well as my class at Sigh.

Because of the accident, there was no yoga practice. I did fit in a few C1s once I began to heal and I've been to my class at Sigh the last few weeks with the amazing Nan Arundel.

Refocus: Now that I'm further on the mend, I'm going to try to do 1 C1 and 1 C2 a week, plus my Nan class. Maybe an extra C1 or C2 if I can make it work. And I'll make it work.

4. I will not take my work home with me. I cannot let negative experiences or negative people have control over how I live my life. I don’t have a choice about working with them, but I do have a choice about how I let them impact my post-work day.

If there's one area that I've really done well with, it's here. Even just that awareness--the separation of not letting the negativity of other people impact my life long after they're physically out of my space has helped. Thank you, Yoga.

Refocus: Continue here. Practice patience with people who irritate me--knowing that no one starts out their day thinking "how can I best irritate Kelly?" (well, except some students, but that's another story). Everyone has a story and they act according to how they feel they should. My response to it is all up to me.

5. I will plan ahead. I need to be aware of events and plan accordingly. Doing things “on the fly” is stressful for me, so I need to stop doing that!

Good here, I think. Another yoga teacher used a term the other day I loved--she called herself a "time pessimist." I am SO a time pessimist!! I always think there isn't enough time to do something, so I either don't do it at all or I waste an incredible amount of time "getting there early."

Refocus: I need to be realistic about the time I have, and plan out my schedule for the following week on Sunday afternoon.

6. I need to let go. When things don’t go my way, or someone yells at me or is disrespectful, I need to handle it, then let it go.

Decent here...could be better, could be worse. I think, considering how unbelievably sensitive and self-absorbed I am, I'm actually doing quite well. And, again with the yoga, I was involved in a conversation recently about the phrase "let go" and how silly it is--that it's impossible to truly "let go" because each experience, no matter how tiny, adds to the layers of who we are. There is no "letting go."

Refocus: Rather than "let go"--think of what I really mean. That's all I'm going to say about that right now...need to think on this one.

So, overall, not as bad as I thought. I need to work on the basics--which are things I've *always* needed to work on my whole life. I've never eaten well (when left to my own devices), never slept like I was supposed to, etc. and that's had an effect on all those other areas. Build the foundation :-)

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