Wednesday night I deactivated my Facebook page. I've been thinking for awhile about how Facebook gives people--me--such a false sense of friendship and relationships. The idea that I have 700+ friends is ludicrous. A few weeks ago I posted a status saying I was going to cull my friends list. I got 40+ messages from people saying "please don't defriend me!" When I deactivated a few days ago? Not a single person has taken the "extra" step to email me to find out where I've run off to. I'm not upset about it; in fact, it proves my point. It's easy, passive, and lazy to scroll down a page and "like" things and comment--but to have this be a measure by which I count my friendships? No. I can't do it anymore.
On the contrary, though the last week has been...um...a difficult one, people who are my true friends have stepped out to support me in a way that I kind of forgot exists because of Facebook. A few of them knew I was having a hard week; a few of them didn't. And, their kindness and love even when they didn't know I needed extra kindness and love was affirming in a way that no amount of "liking" could ever do on FB.
And the universe is taking care of me. Last night Amy and her husband fed me cocktails and dinner, laughter and advice, until I was so grateful I thought I'd burst. Tonight was a night I've been dreading most of the week, and I got a random, spontaneous invitation this morning to a party. I went, laughed for a few hours, and got to meet some new people.
Will I go back to Facebook? Sure. Facebook is fine. And there are definitely people I want to stay connected with, where Facebook is the only logical place to do that. But, when I started up on Facebook back in...2007? I've kind of rolled along as it morphed into this gigantic, time-sucking, socially-demoralizing monster. Now that I've pulled away---been FB free for two whole days, whoohoo!---I'm starting to see it as more of what it is. And, who knows....it may bring me back to blogging!