That's what I'm doing, burning out my fuse up here alone. I'm feeling both connected and disconnected, grounded and groundless, awake and asleep all at the same time. January is such a hard month for me. I wake up in the morning and my first thought is how much I hate my job, how much I hate going to work and I try to think of ways to not go, to quit, but I can't. Even a former student telling me that she's going to become a teacher because of me isn't enough during January to help me appreciate what I do, although it should. I know that she was one of fate's reminders that I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. I do make a difference.
I'm starting two new Loft classes on Feb. 1st and I'm excited. New classes, new teachers, should be interesting. My writing has been at a standstill until tonight, when I solved a problem for one of my characters while watching teenage boys shoot a puck from one end of the ice rink to the other.
And, I turn thirty six months from tomorrow.
5 comments:
what classes are you taking?
happy 29 1/2!
I turn 30 on July 1st, about the same as you. I know what you mean about having hard times during teaching. If we ever get a beer I'll tell you all about my first teaching experience. It was in a tiny town in extreme Eastern Oregon. I hated the school, the kids hated me as an outsider, and my relationship was falling apart in that slow, indefinable way that never presents you with an opportunity to make a clear-cut decision to get out.
I hope you there's something in your life other than school that can make these winter months easier to bear. Like knitting a shawl, or maybe babysitting for your younger friends who are married and have babies. Sometimes trying on wedding dresses of younger sisters can really pick up a girl's spirits, or so I hear.
All kidding aside, I hope you're doing ok, Kelly.
And I'm on crack, because it's five months until 30. Gads.
I'm fine...just moody. I'm moody a lot.
That's not the Kelly I knew!
Oh wait...
:-)
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