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Monday, June 19, 2006

Idle hands and an idle mind

This week begins the most dangerous part of the summer for me. I have now done basically nothing but veg out for about three weeks. I am done vegging, and am now bored. There are problems with this. First of all, I have WAY too much to do to be bored. I have a bedroom to paint, a garage to clean out, curriculum to write, essays to write, and stories to write. But I still find that even when I wake up at 8am, I veg out the whole day and waste it. I do not want to waste the first week of my thirties.

The other problem with summer is that everyone else still works. So when I'm up and ready to go at 6pm and I want to be out with people doing stuff, they're tired from working all day. And when I'm at home shooting off email after email because I want people to talk to, my friends are all "whoa, hey, I'm working here!" and they either don't respond immediately or their responses are short, so I'm all "waaaaaaaah, nobody loves me" which is totally not true, but because I'm in my chronic vegetative state the implication is there.

The true tragedy is that when October rolls around and I don't have a single minute to myself in a 24 hour day and every second is dedicated to work, I'll think back on these days and how I wasted them and I'll retroactively beat myself up for it.

Maybe I'll make a list. I seem to do well with lists.

2 comments:

Coolpoint said...

You should log on IMs more

Patricia said...

lists are good, make a goal, give yourself deadlines, or well, just chill...xoxooxox