Pages

Friday, January 19, 2007

It's not me, it's you

On my way to the weight room today after school, one of my colleagues caught up to me to ask if I had any fun plans for the weekend. The following conversation ensued:

Me: Jodi and I are going to Barnes and Noble tomorrow night because we've decided it's an untapped resource for men.

John: Oh yeah? Sounds fun. Anything else that you can tell me about? [John is in his 50s...probably doesn't want to hear about my crazy sex life. HA!]

Me: Nope, just hanging with Gatsby. A 30 year old single woman with her dog.

John: I don't understand why you're still single.

Me: Yeah, me neither.

John: No really. I know you joke about it, but I really don't understand why a girl like you isn't married.

We chatted some more, and then parted ways. But of course his comments stuck with me. I gave up a long time ago trying to find an answer as to why it's so difficult to find a good relationship. I have at least two amazing friends who, for all intents and purposes, should be married but are not. I can't think of a single reason why they are unable to find love. So, I don't understand why when I turn the lens on myself I find all sorts of faults with me. I criticize my actions, my words. I beat myself up because surely I can't be a whole person without a marriage and a family.

But when people like John talk to me, older, more intelligent men who are from an era where courtship was an art, speak to me and reinforce what I believe but try to squelch within myself I begin to believe it even more.

It's not me. It's you.

No comments: