Pages

Saturday, November 27, 2010

I used to come here all the time.

The problem is, most of my life is far too private to share here. Isn't that icky? I used to talk about my most private, personal thoughts here...but now I feel like I can't because a particular "someone" (who varies, depending on the situation), might stumble upon it. A long time ago I wrote about colors. That's how I feel tonight. Profoundly. And all that's the matter isn't anything I can share, because someone might read it...though I'm certain that no one reads this anymore.

A synopsis:
I took a chance on something today. Very out of character for me. And I had myself convinced that if I did something that was out of character, then the result might be different. It wasn't. It was the same result, and I just never should have done it. Story of my life.

3 comments:

Leah said...

Eh, I check back here on a weekly basis even though you post far less often than in the past. :)

Can't you make entries only viewable to "friends" on here? I'm not really sure; I only use this to read blogs and post knitting stuff. That's why I still use LiveJournal - I can post publicly, but I can also filter things that I'm worried might get me into "trouble."

I don't like the idea of wanting a place to vomit my thoughts and vent and talk out loud and really just use it as a means of organizing my thoughts and feeling catharsis but having to censor. That's awful, and frustrating. I'm sorry you feel like you can't talk about things on here.

Matthew said...

I like "who varies, depending on the situation". I guess I still read it.

par said...

That was sweet words.
well, for me sometimes it gets more complicated. as soon as I feel that i know who I am, a lot of contradictions happen and it will be proven to me that I am wrong.
And how much it is tragic that you miss the moments that you really are yourself and forget to save it in your mind for the next time you ask yourself "who am I".