Not all "Clay-mates" are psychotic, anti-gay freakshows, I promise.

I can stay silent no longer. Since the "breaking news" of Clay Aiken coming out as a homosexual, my eyes have rolled back into my head so many times I'm pretty sure permanent damage has been caused.

First, Clay Aiken has been gay and has KNOWN he was gay since BEFORE he was on American Idol. People, please. You fell in love with Clay Aiken. You fell in love with a gay man. Deal with it.

Two. For the people who are so shocked by this information that their worlds have effectively stopped, I need to ask: "Really?" As in, you had NO idea that he was gay? The ballads? The effeminate voice, gestures, style? The overly solid relationship with his mother? The total lack of a girlfriend? A Broadway role in Spam-a-lot? Really? NO idea whatsoever? Okay. Sure.

Three. To the Claymates who have been "defending" Clay for years against these "accusations" of being gay...I'm sure he deeply appreciates you going to blows to defend his honor and tear down those who would, gasp, suggest that he was a...shhhh.... homosexual. What an insult. Dear God, what would he have done without you? Oh...that's right, probably nothing. Know why? See reason four.

Four. Clay's sexuality has nothing to do with you. What, you think you had a chance? And now that he's gay *that's* the reason that you and he will never be? Does him being gay change his voice? Change his personality? Change his honor? His talent? His passion for his causes? Does it change anything you fell in love with? And while we're here, Clay didn't lie to you. He just didn't. He withheld information that was none of your damn business, but that's not a lie. That's protecting his privacy. Gee, wonder why he'd want to do that--everyone is handling the truth soo well.

So just stop it. Stop acting like Clay being gay is the end of the free world. It isn't. Good for him for coming out. Shame on you for feeling anything less than "whatever" or "good."

The apocalypse....

I don't know which sign of the apocalypse I witnessed today. It may be a trump card.

Sitting on a table in the staff lounge (for sale, mind you), was this book:




I'll allow you to shudder in peace....

Okay.

The tag line for the title is "Stories from the Idols and their Fans that Open Your Heart and Make Your Soul Sing."

Are you puking yet?

Let's check out the inside of the book. Hm. "Forward by Paula Abdul." That should set just about take care of any remaining dry heaves you might have.

How about Melinda Doolittle's opening essay "Without God I'm Tone Deaf"? Ruben Studdard's "Now There's Enough for Everybody"? (The jokes are too easy.) Or "The Ace of Hearts" brought to you by, you guessed it--Phil Stacey!! Just kidding--of course it's Ace Young.

The kicker is the forty-one pages devoted to "The Wind Beneath My Wings: Stories of Fans Touched by Idols." (Again, the jokes are just too easy for me to bear), finishing with little Emily Weaver's "My Favoritest Idol Ever." Like I give a shit how anyone was touched by an idol.

Okay, I'm off to go get touched by Clay Aiken---he runs on batteries.

Oh, by the way...

I SAW CLAY AIKEN TONIGHT

I SAW CLAY AIKEN TONIGHT

I SAY CLAY AIKEN TONIGHT

Fabulous Friend Erica had the brilliant idea that we should go see CLAY AIKEN at Orchestra Hall with the MN Orchestra. So we did.

He sang and sang and sang, and I wet my pants a few times. The Claymates were out in full force but we were all well behaved until his last song and his encore where things got slightly out of hand (but no one rushed the stage, which Claymates have been known to do.)

It was so Christmas-y and good and wonderful and fantastic....I couldn't think of a better way to lead into break and the holidays than a good dose of two hours of Aiken.