The Cost of California Dreamin' and the Value of Someone Who Will Tell You Straight

There are two things about me you need to know if we're going to be good friends.  First, I dream big and often can't be bothered with the technicalities of making my dreams reality.  Second, when I decide I want something, I want it now.

Imagine how much Pepto Bismol I've caused my financial planner to drink over the course of our relationship.  Saving for grad school? Um, I've already enrolled.  No, I don't know how much it costs.  Saving for a house? What? But I want one now.  Like....today.

Over the years she's looked into my dream world of becoming a professional writer, becoming a funeral director, buying a house, getting my master's degree....and now, spending the summerandpossiblylonger in California.  She's been to this rodeo before; I want to move to California tomorrow, but my budget says "Dude, really?"  So, my financial planner looks at me with all of the compassion and love she has and says, "Dude.  Really?"

"Yes.  Really."

"Okay," she sighs. "Well, let's figure it out."

And then we planned my summer in California.  And my masters/PhD in administration.  And I left feeling incredibly grateful for having someone in my life who is willing to be the anchor on my balloon.  Who will step into my world long enough to take a look at my path--and who has a really great road map to get me where I want to go.

If you want her name, let me know;  I couldn't possibly recommend her more.

And, for those of you seeking an update on my new morning schedule plan? After adjusting my bedtime, this morning was another fail.  Woke up at 6:15 when I was supposed to wake up at 5:45.  Tonight I adjusted my caffeine intake.  Cross your fingers for tomorrow!

The story of how I began to run my schedule, rather than my schedule running me

Today was "back to school" day.  I made a last-ditch effort to get all my grading done last night in about 3 hours, which meant I didn't go to bed until after 2am (and I didn't get the grading done.  Oops.).  Before I went to bed, though, I instilled resolution #1 for 2013:  to run my schedule rather than my schedule running me.  I described my morning to my friend Becka as such:

"Right now I get up at 6:30am and I have to leave for work at 7:05.  So, basically, I shower, drag a brush through my hair, throw the dog outside while I nuke my oatmeal, then fly out the door grabbing everything I see, and arrive at school looking something like a pack mule."

It's no way to live.

So, the logical way to solve the problem is to wake up earlier, right?  Have I mentioned that I'm not so much of a morning person?  No matter: enter the new year's resolution: running my schedule.  I can decide to become more of a morning person...right?  So before I went to bed, I wrote out the following schedule, tracking backward from the time I need to leave for work.

7:00am -- leave for work (which is really "gather up all my crap and try to get to the car by 7:05")
6:50am -- walk Gatsby
6:25am -- make and eat breakfast
5:55am -- shower/get ready
5:45am -- write morning pages (from The Artist's Way...another resolution I'll talk about another time)

Doesn't seem so bad, right?  It's a starting point, I figured.  What actually happened was I found it impossible to open my eye at 5:45am.  They opened at 6:15.  Whatever, eyes, I can make that work--I have a resolution! I skipped the morning pages and skipped that luxurious 25 minute breakfast time I dream of.  But, Gatsby got his walk, and I ended up leaving early enough that I had time to stop for coffee on the way to work.

That's me running my schedule right there, people.

Tomorrow morning I'll try it again.  The nice thing about a resolution is that it's based in the word "resolve."  Intention.  I wasn't perfect today--but I was a lot better than I would have been without intention.  Without resolve.  There will still be mornings where I'll oversleep, where my eyes won't cooperate, or where I simply decide "forget this, I'm sleeping longer."  Of course.  Tomorrow morning, though, I will wake up before 6:15.  Maybe 6:10.  Baby, resolved steps.

After all, that 25 minute breakfast is waiting.

Where the 2010 Review would normally be...

Last year I didn't make any resolutions. Just never got around to it. And, I still managed to accomplish stuff--imagine that. This year I...

--> Completed the level 2 teacher training at CorePower
--> Started my master's degree in special education at the U of M
--> Tested out and started teaching C2 classes at CorePower
--> Developed a really great friendship with Friend Amy and deepened several other great friendships.
--> Began Operation: Top 50%
--> Started looking for a house

So, even without actual resolutions, it seems I managed to have a passable year and even get some things done.

This year, I am going to make some resolutions. Some plans. The first one is for January: I'm going to eat out only 1x/week. This includes all meals--breakfast, lunch, dinner--and school lunch. I'm going to concentrate, for four weeks, on making my own meals. There are several purposes for this resolution: first, to save money; second, to lose weight.

Cheers, friends! Here's to a great year, whether you have resolutions or not. Either way, you will accomplish great things!

I have a confession...

Okay...so, we're a few weeks into 2010. In spite of a few down minutes/hours, I'm still digging hard core on 2010. But, I've been living a lie and I need to come clean.

I didn't make any resolutions. I said I would, then I said I had, and I did spend a lot of time thinking about what they might be if I wrote some down, but I stopped shy of the writing. So, I am resolutionless for the first time in my life (or, I guess, for the first time since I knew that resolutions existed).

There. Now you know my secret. And, to be honest, not having resolutions has left me feeling a little aimless. A little bit free-floating. Not a horrible thing, but I'm not exactly comfortable with it.

But... I've also been thinking about why we make resolutions. And, I'm wondering if sometimes this "Jan 1" businesses leads us to start to be overly critical of ourselves and seek out improvements where maybe none are needed. Oh, sure, we can always tweak a thing or two, but why do I always feel like I need a massive overhaul every year? I don't. I'm just fine. And I was just fine as I began last year too.

So, though I'm left feeling a little lost and a little unsure, I'm starting to come to terms with my lack of my normal 12 resolutions (one for each month). I accomplished a ton last year--and I plan to do the same this year. We'll see how it goes :-)

Jan 31...recap of the resolutions

Well, it's the end of the month, which means it's time to do an audit on how I've performed on my resolutions so far this year. I'm hoping this will keep me accountable.

Personal resolutions:

1. Do not spend more than I earn

*Update: I've been doing pretty well with this one. I've been working more, doing supervisions at school events and selling stuff I don't need, which helps also. But, January's budget was pretty decent.

2. Keep house clean

*Update: Not bad on this one. I'm cleaning a bit every day, and though sometimes I feel like all I do is clean (and wonder occasionally where the gremlins are who dirty the place when I turn my back), it's worth it.

3. Complete yoga teacher training

*Update: In process. I begin training in a few days.

4. Make a decision about mortuary science (apply this year or next?)

*Update: Finished. I'm waiting a year.

5. Run at least three times a week

*Update: Hmm...no so much on this one. Haven't even started.

6. Run a half-marathon

*Update: No yet! Going to have to do #5 before this one.

7. Do yoga five times a week

*Update: I'm building to this. This past week I did four classes. Next week it's full board--five a week.

8. Once a month, fill at least one bag to give to charity or consignment

*Update: Hmm...still need to do this. I will do this tomorrow.

9. Keep my weight where it is--maximum

*Update: So far so good!

Writing resolutions:

1. Send out five submissions a month

*Update: Done! I actually sent out sixteen...trying to get ahead because I don't know that I'll be able to send out during Feb or March because of yoga teacher training. Plus one to grow on.

2. Write one story a month

*Update: Well, I did write. Not a full story, but I did put words to paper. So, I'll count that a partial success.

3. Journal at least three times a week (in a hard copy--not blogging...though I'll blog like a fiend
in 2009!)

*Update: Not yet. I need to do this. But, whenever I think about writing stuff down, there's just so much in my head. Gotta think of it "one word at a time" and just get going.

4. Read six books on craft

*Update: I'm in process here...reading a book on poetry at the moment.

5. Read 26 books (either fiction or non-fiction...this will lead into Book Plan 2009)

*Update: I've read one book so far this year. One a month won't quite cut it. So, must get better at this one.

Happy New Year...and keeping myself accountable

Welcome to 2009! So far, so good...at least from my end of things.

Every year I struggle with resolutions, so this year I'm putting them out there publicly. Feel free to call me on my behavior if I drop the ball on these at any time. In fact, I think a little policing might do me a world of good.

I've broken up my resolutions into two categories: personal and writing. I want (read: desperately need) to get back into a writing routine, so I'm really going to push that this year. But, I'm going to do it differently than I have in the past--no writing classes. This year it's all about actually writing and getting the shit sent out.

Personal resolutions:

1. Do not spend more than I earn

2. Keep house clean

3. Complete yoga teacher training

4. Make a decision about mortuary science (apply this year or next?)

5. Run at least three times a week

6. Run a half-marathon

7. Do yoga five times a week

8. Once a month, fill at least one bag to give to charity or consignment

9. Keep my weight where it is--maximum

Writing resolutions:

1. Send out five submissions a month

2. Write one story a month

3. Journal at least three times a week (in a hard copy--not blogging...though I'll blog like a fiend
in 2009!)

4. Read six books on craft

5. Read 26 books (either fiction or non-fiction...this will lead into Book Plan 2009)


Sounds like a lot, right? But that's okay...I can totally do it.