My huge crush on Simon Sinek

It's not just that he's cute...though he is.
It's not just that he's brilliant...though he is.

It's not just that he's humble...though he is.

It's not even that once in awhile I can grab onto his accent, for just a brief moment (though I have to be honest: yum).

I crush on Simon Sinek because, quite simply, smart is sexy.  Watching Simon speak is like going to a spin class.  Or spending an hour in yoga with the best teacher in the world.  Endorphins surge through my brain, my heart rate elevates, I feel strong, and, best of all, I feel smart.  I feel electricity forging new neural pathways (dancing dendrites!) that make me better at my job, better in my relationships, and better in the world.  He decreases my stress.  How? By telling me to get over myself.  By telling me that if I could just stop making assumptions for five minutes, I'd have a lot more energy to enjoy reality.  By teaching me to work smarter, not as a cliche, but as an actual way to live better. And, the best part, he doesn't tell me to do it--he asks me why I wouldn't want to do it.

If you haven't met Simon yet, start here: How Great Leaders Inspire Action.  Then head to his website. Then, because you'll be an addict like me, prepare to spend at least a part of each day loving on Simon Sinek's brilliance.  Have fun! :-)

The one where I'm not going to Tulum.

Two years ago, I visited the most magical place I'd ever visited: Tulum, Mexico.  Then, I went back again last year.  It drew me back cell by cell.  Before my 2012 trip, I was worried that it wouldn't be as good as 2011 because how on earth could it be?  It was impossible.  And yet, through a few stars aligning in a very perfect way, some things happened that made it not just better than the year before; it because one of the best weeks of my life.  I look back on it with a fondness and reverence I don't have for many other things, because it was, truly, a once-in-a-lifetime experience. To say that it's a place of healing is an understatement.  Remember, I spent the summer in Santa Barbara where my soul purpose in life was to heal myself....and three months in Santa Barbara didn't do as much for me as four days in Tulum.

You may be surprised to hear that this year, in three days, I'm not going back to Tulum.  I go back and forth with being at peace with my decision to not go.  Some days I know it's exactly right for me to move on and enjoy my new path toward California; other days I want to buy a plane ticket and just go already.

There are many obstacles.  I spent the summer in California.  Santa Barbara, California, of all places, which wasn't cheap.  Then there's the new job.  The new job where I have a major deadline on November 15th and missing 4 working days would make meeting that deadline all but impossible.  Then there's the change in leadership for the retreat.  I'm the kind of girl who went to the same camp every summer and requested the same counselor year after year.  I don't like change.  That's the least significant obstacle, and it wouldn't have been enough to stop me from going if the money and time was there...but I'd be lying if I didn't console myself a little by saying "Well, at least ____ and ____ and ____ aren't leading..."

So, a part of me says, "You should have gone, to become comfortable with the unknown.  To release your expectations.  To not stall out in old memories, but create new ones."

Another part of me says, "If Tulum is really a place of healing, then you've already got Tulum with you now.  It has healed you.  Healing doesn't expire; it's not something that needs to be renewed or it dies out.  New injuries may occur, but that tends to call for new types of healing.  In fact, I'm pretty sure the research would back me up in saying that repetition of healing methods tends to diminish their effectiveness over time.

I have to believe that this year is not the year for me in Tulum.  Last year was.  The year before that was.  This year is someone else's year.  My experience, my healing, lies elsewhere.  Maybe my growth here is realizing that I am healed, that it's time to move forward.

But...Tulum did make me very happy.  Twice.

2013 Cleanse: Day 3

Today the rubber kind of hit the road....until I remembered that I can (and should!) eat vegetables from time to time.  Welcome to the reason I need to cleanse, I guess.  Apparently existing on carbs and diet coke doesn't work so well.  My raging headache continued all morning long, prompting me to sub out a yoga class and cry a little.  Then I made some vegetable soup with lentils this afternoon and life got a little better.

The other thing that made me cry a little, totally not cleanse-related, is the amount of grading I've been doing this weekend.  Non-stop, my friends.  It's the end of one quarter and the beginning of another.  I go through this every quarter--feeling really overwhelmed and unprepared--and every quarter I get through it.  But, in a time of cleansing, I think the difficulty is magnified.  It's becoming pretty clear to me that my food habits aren't the only thing I should be cleansing right now.  But, one thing at a time, right?

Tomorrow I eliminate rice and nuts, two of my staples for the last few days.  I'm upping the UltraClear, which will help.  I can eat fruits, vegetables, and legumes.  Nothing else.  I haven't been hungry, and I haven't really lost weight.  But, my guess is both of those things will happen over the next few days.  Suffice to say, I'll be laying low.

I'm also really missing my cleanse buddy,  Michelle.  It makes such a big difference to be doing the cleanse along with someone.  It's amazing how important an encouraging email/text/phone call can be.  So, that's my number 1 tip for planning a cleanse: get someone to do it with you.  A few people is even better.  But, get people who will really do it--not someone who is going to dip out after a day or so.  You don't need that temptation.  Michelle and I didn't always cleanse together, but when we did we were in it together, and neither of use ever stopped on the other.  If she was cleansing right now, I know we would have talked today about the experience so far.

Will update more tomorrow--assuming I survive the first day of 3rd quarter....ugh.

2013 Cleanse Day 2

The first thing I was aware of this morning, even before I opened my eyes, was the screaming headache that remained from cutting out caffeine yesterday.  The headache progressed through my spin class, prompted me to skip my second spin class (the endurance class I love) and sent me home for a nap.  It subsided for a bit during yoga, but now that I'm staring down the barrel of countless projects that need to be graded by Monday, suddenly it's back.  What's the lesson here?  I seriously needed to detox this caffeine from my body!  So, while the headache was painful, it was also a good motivator.

So...you're wondering what I got to eat today, right?  

Well, yesterday I eliminated refined sugar, caffeine, artificial colors/flavors/sweeteners, and flesh foods (meat, fish, etc.). Today I added eggs and other dairy products to that list, making today not a lot different from yesterday except for the fact that egg (whites) are my normal "go to" food whenever I need a low calorie, high protein treat.  So, I ate some oatmeal with brown sugar for breakfast (not from a package, of course).  I had an apple, walnuts and pasta for lunch and a snack.  I had some tea and another apple later in the afternoon, and some edamame for dinner. I had some UltraClear as well, which is one of the components of the cleanse.  I'll be adding that in more each day as I eliminate foods.  I'm going to have some brown rice later, and my last scoop of UltraClear.  Then it's off to bed.

I've definitely got "cleanse brain," that kind of foggy feeling that makes me forget my purse for spin class (and then look for it at spin, forgetting that I forgot it).  This will last for a few more days, and then as I get back on schedule with better foods, my energy and clarity will return.

The most important element to remember while cleansing, in my opinion, is to not underestimate the role food plays in everything we do in our day to day life.  Changing what you eat will affect your energy, your mood, your perspective, even your social life.  Sometimes for the better...sometimes not.  We are a nation that functions on food.  We are motivated by it, we celebrate with it, we even use it as a measure of intelligence and sophistication.  The worst thing I can do while cleansing is to act "business as usual."  I have to honor my energy and be sensitive to the mood swings as they arise.  

Tomorrow I cut out grains, nuts and seeds.  There goes my oatmeal, pasta and rice.  I'll be able to eat fruits, veggies, and legumes.  Means I better get some lentils on the way home from teaching yoga tomorrow--and I better write it down; I'll never remember with Cleanse Brain!

2013 Cleanse Day 1

Every once in awhile--usually about 2x a year--I decide I've gone overboard quite enough with the sugar, diet coke, and carbs.  A cleanse is a great way to reset my system and remind myself that yes, I can actually live without my morning diet coke.

This is the cleanse I'm doing: The UltraClear PLUS 10-DAY EXPRESS DETOX PROGRAM.  I know 10 days sounds like a LONG TIME....and it is.  It's not easy.  But, I feel amazing afterward and I feel like I'm back to controlling my food rather than the other way around.  So, I thought I'd chronicle my cleanse this time around and hopefully give you some insights into the whole process.

So, today was day 1.  For me, that meant no coffee, no diet coke, and no meat.  Not really a significant difference from my normal diet, except I've been drinking so much soda lately that I've had the hard-core caffeine headache raging since about 10am.  The only thing getting me through is knowing that it will get better in a few days, and I can have diet coke in 9 days again!

I ate oatmeal with brown sugar for breakfast, angel hair noodles with olives/olive oil/parm cheese for lunch, and a can of vegetable barley soup (Amy's) for dinner.  I also drank tea (caffeine free, of course), and water with lemon.

Tomorrow will be a little harder, because I can't have eggs.  Eggs are my total go-to food.  Well, egg whites, I should say.  But, that means I'll need to up my veggies in order to stay satisfied, and that's a really good thing for me since I really don't eat enough vegetables.

Tomorrow is also my intense exercise day: a three hour spin session followed by a 75 min yoga class.  I'm going to have to understand that I probably won't have the same amount of energy I usually have and be okay with that.  It's worth it to get my system out of diet coke/salt/cookie land and back into normal territory.

Getting Things Done...and Wow

A few weeks ago I read Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity.  And, I decided that the advice in this book was sound, practical, cheap-enough, and necessary.  I took a few days to implement the system and yesterday I launched my new life of organization and productivity.

I've never been so tired in my life.

What I've learned over the last two days is that I, quite simply, have too much to do.  I know, I know, you're thinking "You needed a book to tell you that? Pay ME $15 and I'll tell you the same thing!" But here's the thing: I've always held the belief that I didn't have too much to do.  That I was just being lazy.  And that if I spent a little more time grading, a little less time on Facebook, a little more time teaching yoga, a little less time watching Family Guy, that I'd be able to "get everything done."

Nope.  It's not possible.  One of the tenants of the book is to empty your brain of all thoughts--to write down, literally, everything that you have or want to do from "walk the dog" to "go to Italy in my lifetime."  Because, scientifically, your brain doesn't really recognize the difference between those two items when they're in thought form; it doesn't understand that one is "do it now" and the other is "eh, it'd be nice if I have the money someday."  That's a pretty gross simplification, but you get the idea.  And, throughout the day, I'm supposed to write down everything new thought, every new task, and put it in my in-box.  Yesterday I added 40 items.  Today I added 60.

No wonder I can't get everything done in a day! What I absolutely love about this book is that it's teaching me patience with myself.  I need to be proud of myself for accomplishing what I do during the day, not berate myself for not finishing absolutely everything.

The ultimate goal here is to get my life in better control so I can start writing again.  I'm a writer...and writers need to write.

By the way, I think you should buy this book.  It's a quick read, and even if you don't want to go crazy with Allen's system, everyone can take at least one nugget of information to help them be more productive and efficient.

The story of how I began to run my schedule, rather than my schedule running me

Today was "back to school" day.  I made a last-ditch effort to get all my grading done last night in about 3 hours, which meant I didn't go to bed until after 2am (and I didn't get the grading done.  Oops.).  Before I went to bed, though, I instilled resolution #1 for 2013:  to run my schedule rather than my schedule running me.  I described my morning to my friend Becka as such:

"Right now I get up at 6:30am and I have to leave for work at 7:05.  So, basically, I shower, drag a brush through my hair, throw the dog outside while I nuke my oatmeal, then fly out the door grabbing everything I see, and arrive at school looking something like a pack mule."

It's no way to live.

So, the logical way to solve the problem is to wake up earlier, right?  Have I mentioned that I'm not so much of a morning person?  No matter: enter the new year's resolution: running my schedule.  I can decide to become more of a morning person...right?  So before I went to bed, I wrote out the following schedule, tracking backward from the time I need to leave for work.

7:00am -- leave for work (which is really "gather up all my crap and try to get to the car by 7:05")
6:50am -- walk Gatsby
6:25am -- make and eat breakfast
5:55am -- shower/get ready
5:45am -- write morning pages (from The Artist's Way...another resolution I'll talk about another time)

Doesn't seem so bad, right?  It's a starting point, I figured.  What actually happened was I found it impossible to open my eye at 5:45am.  They opened at 6:15.  Whatever, eyes, I can make that work--I have a resolution! I skipped the morning pages and skipped that luxurious 25 minute breakfast time I dream of.  But, Gatsby got his walk, and I ended up leaving early enough that I had time to stop for coffee on the way to work.

That's me running my schedule right there, people.

Tomorrow morning I'll try it again.  The nice thing about a resolution is that it's based in the word "resolve."  Intention.  I wasn't perfect today--but I was a lot better than I would have been without intention.  Without resolve.  There will still be mornings where I'll oversleep, where my eyes won't cooperate, or where I simply decide "forget this, I'm sleeping longer."  Of course.  Tomorrow morning, though, I will wake up before 6:15.  Maybe 6:10.  Baby, resolved steps.

After all, that 25 minute breakfast is waiting.

Changing from self-help to management

A few weeks ago I bought out the self-help section at Barnes and Noble.  This week, we've moved onto management and leadership.  At workshops this week, we had an amazing speaker come work with us on establishing a PLC (Professional Learning Community) at our building.  He and I shared an energetic connection---lots of eye contact, he knew I was listening and fully engaged, and I was--I was hanging on his every word.  I told a friend listening to him was like ice cream.  

That, combined with a video another friend showed me from Simon Sinek (another brilliant motivational speaker type), has amped up my interest in management. Leadership.  Sales.  Bettering myself.  Thinking, as Simon says, about the "why" more than the "how" or the "what."  

I'm making a shift up in here, people.  Focusing a little more on what the next 10 years are going to look like for me.  I floated through my 20s (who doesn't, right?) and spent the first part of my 30s trying to figure out what the hell was going on in life.  Now, though I still don't know what's going on, I've got myself a plan. 

From the looks of it, that plan involves a lot of reading.  

Apparently my calendar is a closet

Over the last week or so, I've been absorbing this:

And by "absorbing" I mean I've got the notebook out and I'm doing the exercises throughout the book.  Hard core, right? Tell me about it.  But, here's what I've learned:

1.  Your calendar is like a closet.  If you organize it by type, keep it updated and purged, it's super easy to navigate.  If, on the other hand, you keep everything, shove things in pell-mell, and keep your socks in the same drawer as your skirts, well, you're going to have a problem.

2.  It's no surprise that I'm tired and stressed out all year long.  My closet is full of clothes that don't fit and are a hundred years old.  If my calendar is like a closet, which Julie (yep, first name basis here, peeps) says it is, it makes some sense that my goals, activities, and day to day activities are both outdated and cluttering up my nice new stuff.  So, when I look in my closet in the morning and can't find a thing to wear--and when I go to sleep at night and have no idea where my day went, it's basically the same thing.

3.  I have goals for every area of my life....except my job.  I had no idea.  But, now that I do know, it somewhat explains my "professional student-switch careers-wait no get dual licensure-wait no just do the masters-wait no let's do our admin license now too" kind of life I've been leading for the last five years.  Nothing like a shit-ton of action with no goal in mind.  Oops.

4.  Both 2 and 3 are solvable--and I'm so going to do it. I've been writing goals.  I've been tracking my schedule.  And, when I go back to school this fall, I'm going to be smarter about how I spend my time.  I'm going to organize my closet AND my calendar.

And, if you click on the link above and order that fabulous book, I promise you won't be sorry.  For real--think about what your closet looks like right now....do you really want to live in that all day long??  Yeah, I didn't think so.

Kitten-Sittin'!

I'm a closet cat person.  I know, don't tell Gatsby.  I love him too--especially his feline tendencies. But, since I already have the dog and the chinchilla, I'm not so much allowed to invite a cat into the mix.  So, when my friend goes out of town, I jump at the chance to kitten-sit.  That's how I'm spending this week.

Friend lives downtown, so this week is as near to a vacation as I'm going to get this summer.  I chill here, get in touch with my inner Carrie Bradshaw, and enjoy life without a television (but non-stop Breaking Bad on my Netflix streaming....let's not get crazy her.)  I also give myself full permission to eat nothing but popcorn and drink non-diet soda.  So there.

I'm puttering through my self-help library this week as well, and trying to get a plan together for going back to work.  I'm committed to trying to live life a little more like the animals in my life...a little more chill, suave, go-with-the-flow, enjoying my people, and not stressing about the future or things I can't do anything about.  I'm also hoping that this commitment lasts longer than two weeks.  We'll see!

The one where I buy out the self-help section at Barnes and Noble

Usually by this time of the summer, I'm anxious to get back to work.  Back to the students.  Back to a routine.  My house is spotless, my life is fully organized and ready to be tossed into turmoil once again.

That is not the case this summer. This summer, I'm feeling a little bit right now like I did back in May.  Like I need a big, long, restorative, 3 month hiatus from the universe.  So, I've decided that I need to arm myself against the typical onslaught of drama, chaos, stress and hooliganism (my new word since I read it in a news article this morning) that is the first month of school.

Tonight I scoured the Barnes and Noble self-help section, looking for a little bit of love.  I found the following:

and 

I'm kitten-sittin next week and am going to use the time at my friend's place to take a little vacation on my last week of summer.  The plan is to read through each of these (except the Book of Awakening, which I'll take a bit longer to chew on) and hopefully gain some tools to deal with the work stresses I'm already being faced with before I even walk through the door.  Fingers crossed, peeps.

What do you do to keep your stress under control?

At some point, I'm going to need to accept that I'm smart.

I've spent my whole life trying to not be smart.  I'm the one who sits back and observes, then, rather than make comments at meetings/planning sessions/brainstorming, I'll say something to one person when it's all over.  "That's such a great idea! Why didn't you say something at the meeting?" If I had a dollar for every time I heard some variation on that phrase, well, wealthy girl here.

The thing is, I don't think I always was smart.  I think I learned how to be smart sometime between ages 30-35.  Right around the time I went back to school to be a funeral director and realized that there were people in the world who knew stuff more than I did, but they would teach it to me if I listened.  So, I began to listen.  I listened to everyone, everywhere, all the time.  And I got smart.

But, that doesn't erase the years of disdained looks, eye rolls, and snickers from a time in my life when I was decidedly NOT smart.  Those days of my youth when I took all of that in and the message screamed "You are NOT SMART.  You are STUPID. Your ideas are LAME.  YOU are LAME."

So, now I'm in an interesting spot.  I'm smart, there's no denying it.  But, how to deal with this?  I just don't know.

So, today's question: have you grown into a talent that you've always envied in others and never really adopted as your own?

Practice makes perfect?

I know this is hard to believe, but I was rather....unathletic...as a child.  Actually, for people who have only known me for a year or so, it probably actually IS hard to believe.  But, for the people I've known forever, well, they all know the truth.

I was on the volleyball team in 7th grade (the year they let everyone onto the "team" because they were building our self esteem).  I found the speech team in 8th grade, and the only time I set foot into a gym after that was for phy ed class...and then I was totally one of those girls who lollygagged getting changed into my gym clothes, held the wall up for as much of class as possible, waved my arms around when the teacher was looking, and was more concerned about getting my hair back to "perfect" before the next class.

But I digress.

When I began my yoga journey over 4 years ago, my goal was not to become a hardcore athlete.  The words "athletic," "flexible," and "strong" just never applied to me, and I figured that, like becoming a figure skater or professional dancer, my dreams of becoming an athlete were destined to be abandoned with the reality of, well, reality.  And for a few years, I practiced my yoga.  Then I decide that yeah, sure, I'd get my certification and teach the yoga.  Then my yoga would be free!  And, when I did my teacher training, I discovered something: sometime over the last two years, I had lengthened my hamstrings enough to touch my toes--something I had never, ever been able to do.  Not even when I was, like, five.  And I looked around at all the beginners in my classes and thought "I used to look just like you when I was new....and now I don't."

Fast forward to this week, when, following my spin class, the owner of the studio approached me and asked if I taught bootcamp classes.  After I picked myself up off the floor and wiped the tears of laughter from my eyes, I realized he was serious.  And I realized that, over the last six months or so, I've been slowly transforming myself.  Losing weight for Mexico led to starting spinning classes and watching what I ate.  Watching what I ate led to healthier food choices and to learning how to cook things at home.  I used to eat out 5-6 times a week...now I would have to look at a calendar to see the last time I ate a meal I didn't prepare myself.  And I thought about how I've been "practicing" all of these behaviors, with no real end point in sight, and how it's led to unbelievable success.  Whereas if someone had told me 6 months ago to cook a meal of tilapia, egg whites, and wilted spinach like this: 

Again with the laughter.  

What I've learned, then, is that practicing something actually makes you better at it.  I know--earth shattering, right?  But this little lightbulb is what lit my path to saying "yes" to enrolling in Yoga Sculpt Teacher Training today.  A few months ago, a good friend said "You should totally do YSTT."  I laughed (I laugh a lot) and said "Never.  I will never, ever, do sculpt training.  I'm ridiculous at sculpt."  But I thought "Well, if you practice it, maybe you won't be ridiculous at sculpt anymore."

And so I went to sculpt class tonight.  And in my head, rather than think "oh my gosh, you suck at this. Dude, breathe right! Oh, man, please just try not to hurt or embarrass yourself" I thought, instead, "Okay, here's something you need to practice.  Here's something that you can master if you spend some time with it.  Look--you're way better at this than you were the last time you tried it!"

Practicing.  I make my students do it all day long.  Then I send them home with more practice to do. I make them practice on their own, with a partner, in groups, over and over again.  And I expect them to do it--because how else will they become good at it??

And behold, the teacher becomes the student.

And then I died and went to Heaven...

And by Heaven I mean....Mexico.

There's a lot to talk about with my amazing retreat to Tulum, Mexico. The adventures, the friendships, the food, the beach. It was basically like Yoga Camp. Fricking amazing.

I've been home for almost a week now, and I'm trying to hold on to the zen I felt at Amansala. Friends, it ain't easy. There are a lot of forces around me that try, daily, to wreck my bliss because they don't have their own. This last week I've tried to make it a habit to NOT fall into my old habits. To see light instead of dark, to hold my tongue rather than say something sarcastic, to think rather than judge. It takes energy that I'm sometimes reluctant to give up. But, I know that each day I'm forming new habits--one of which is holding onto my zen--and eventually my zen will become my habit.

In the meantime:

Why I need to be a teacher

Unstructured time isn't good for me. Having a job where I'm scheduled to the literal minute helps me immensely. Why? Because when I'm left to my own devices, I think.

I think about how I'm almost 35.

I think about how I'm almost 35 and not married.

I think about how I'm almost 35 and not married and I don't care.

I think about how I'm almost 35 and not married and I don't care but I think maybe I should, because someone will need to be around when I'm 80 to feed me baby food.

I think about how I might not make it to 80.

I think about how I want to move away from Shakopee but I have no idea where I want to move to.

I think about how I want to quit my job, but it would be beyond stupid to do so.

I think about how I have over 500 friends on Facebook and not one person to spend my birthday with.

And then I think that I'm probably overthinking and that I really NEED that job so that I don't drive myself nuts THINKING all over the place.

Drawing myself out of the Facebook vortex...for a week

I used to have a life. I used to accomplish things. I used to be a writer, a yogi, a teacher who occasionally caught up on her grading. Heck, I used to be an introvert! Not anymore. Now, I'm a Facebook whore. And it needs to stop.

People, I have things I need to do. Like writing on this blog, for one. And grading papers. And watching movies. And doing something other than playing Zuma Blitz and constantly refreshing the page so I have the up-to-the-second updates on what everyone I've ever met (and some people I haven't) are doing. So, I'm grounding myself from Facebook. One week. I need to get my act together and stop using Facebook as my lifeline to an outside world I'm too busy to currently be a part of. I need to get my work done and play later.

Thursday, Feb 10th through Wednesday, Feb. 17th I declare myself totally grounded from Facebook. If I behave myself, I can come back on Thursday the 18th. If not, well, I don't even know what I could do to punish myself further, so I probably just better abide by the rule, right?

We'll see how it goes....

Where the 2010 Review would normally be...

Last year I didn't make any resolutions. Just never got around to it. And, I still managed to accomplish stuff--imagine that. This year I...

--> Completed the level 2 teacher training at CorePower
--> Started my master's degree in special education at the U of M
--> Tested out and started teaching C2 classes at CorePower
--> Developed a really great friendship with Friend Amy and deepened several other great friendships.
--> Began Operation: Top 50%
--> Started looking for a house

So, even without actual resolutions, it seems I managed to have a passable year and even get some things done.

This year, I am going to make some resolutions. Some plans. The first one is for January: I'm going to eat out only 1x/week. This includes all meals--breakfast, lunch, dinner--and school lunch. I'm going to concentrate, for four weeks, on making my own meals. There are several purposes for this resolution: first, to save money; second, to lose weight.

Cheers, friends! Here's to a great year, whether you have resolutions or not. Either way, you will accomplish great things!

The Neti Pot Epic Fail

Apparently, 34 years of breathing has left me with an impenetrable mass in my sinuses that renders my neti pot only partially usable. Bummer. I tried the neti pot for the first time last night, expecting to swallow a lot of water, have water float into my brain or out my eyes...pretty much anything except that the water would do what it's supposed to do: flow from the opposite nostril.

I'm so glad I live alone sometimes. There are people who record their neti pot experiences and post them on youtube. Me? I don't even let the dog watch. I'm surprised I'm even telling you fine folk.

Tonight I tried again--same results. Hopefully I'm chipping away at the monstrosity in my nasal cavity. I just hope that when I eventually dislodge it and can breathe truly freely that I don't actually sound like Fran Drescher...

I'm baaaaack!

Last week I took a hiatus to Chicago to pretend that the whole world agrees that there's nothing more important than yoga. It was a yoga vacation. I ignored the museums, the sightseeing, the plays, and the restaurants (nope, didn't even have Chicago-style pizza while I was there) and concentrated on filling my days with the yoga.

I attended 13 classes in 7 days. Would have done more if the CTA (Chicago Transit Authority) had cooperated. Most of the classes were at CorePower, but I did branch out a bit to two other awesome studios: Tejas Yoga and YogaView.

I met amazing people, and got to know some people I already knew were amazing a little better.

Now I'm home and...a bit nonplussed. I knew that going to that many classes would leave me open, vulnerable, and probably weepy. But I'm questioning *everything*. My yoga, the yoga of others, my mentors, my goals, the way I run my life...it's all up in the air.

So, look for a post in the next few days about how I plan to address at least one of those aspects. Right now, I'm going to go have a cocktail.

It's all giving and no taking...

Today I met with RuthAnn Ritter, an Ayurvedic consultant I met through CorePower teacher training last year. RuthAnn is amazing...she's part nutritionist, yoga expert, life-coach, all awesome. I'm able to meet with her 2-3 times a year when she visits Minnesota from Colorado.

What I learned today is that all of my giving: to my students (high school and yoga), to my jobs, to my academics, to my friends, is depleting me more than I had realized, and it's manifesting itself in all sorts of ways. A lot of my recent behaviors that have seemed really peculiar made perfect sense when talking to RuthAnn. Her one question: "where is the balance?" sent me spinning....there is no balance. And the more I get into summer, the less balance there is.

I leave for Chicago in 9 days. I'll be there for a week--July 18-25. It's my goal for myself to take that time just for me. To try to get back some of the balance.

I also can't wait to enjoy some of my new loot from RuthAnn, including awesome soap, yummy tea, and tons of other stuff. If you live in Colorado definitely hook up with her--she'll change your world! And, if you don't, check out her website--you'll still learn a ton.