Beware the Ides of March

As a good English teacher, it's my responsibility to tell you what can happen to you today.  Be forewarned:

Basically, what happens is Caesar gets all cocky about his awesomeness, and the Soothsayer warns him to beware March 15th (the "ides"...which actually happens every month, though not always on the 15th).  Helpful household tip: you should always listen to a Soothsayer.  But, Caesar didn't, and he got betrayed, assassinated, and all deadified, all because his response to "Beware the ides of March" was basically "schmeh."

So today is a day to watch your back, basically.  But,  you're watching your back...for yourself.  Because the essence of the Ides is that when bad things happen on this day, it's your own darn fault for not paying attention enough to stay out of your own way.

So, good luck today.  And, just in case no one else tells you, I will.  Because I care about you.

Beware the ides of March!

Where the 2010 Review would normally be...

Last year I didn't make any resolutions. Just never got around to it. And, I still managed to accomplish stuff--imagine that. This year I...

--> Completed the level 2 teacher training at CorePower
--> Started my master's degree in special education at the U of M
--> Tested out and started teaching C2 classes at CorePower
--> Developed a really great friendship with Friend Amy and deepened several other great friendships.
--> Began Operation: Top 50%
--> Started looking for a house

So, even without actual resolutions, it seems I managed to have a passable year and even get some things done.

This year, I am going to make some resolutions. Some plans. The first one is for January: I'm going to eat out only 1x/week. This includes all meals--breakfast, lunch, dinner--and school lunch. I'm going to concentrate, for four weeks, on making my own meals. There are several purposes for this resolution: first, to save money; second, to lose weight.

Cheers, friends! Here's to a great year, whether you have resolutions or not. Either way, you will accomplish great things!

There are so, so many things I love about Christmas break

A short list:

1. Yoga whenever I want.
2. Cocktails whenever I want.
3. Sleeping in as late as I want.
4. Going to the bathroom whenever I want.
5. Going to bed as late as I want.
6. Reading whatever I want.

Get the picture? It's all about me. No students, no coworkers, no grad classes...finally, for 11 days, I can turn the attention toward myself and just bliss out. For some, the holidays are about giving to others and being charitable. I do that all damn year. I am selfish at Christmas-time and I'm totally okay with that.

I can totally make it one more day...

Christmas break 2010 is nearly upon us! Eleven days of total freedom (that always ends up being soaked up with all manner of craziness and flies by before I know it) and bliss! I'm in a good position with grading--no major essays--and planning. I do have to read Huck Finn again, which is unfortunate. I'm not sure there's a book I'd less rather read over break, but, alas, it must be done.

There will be lots and lots of yoga, lots of reading, and I'm going to do my free week at The Firm in Minneapolis. I'm going to do some house hunting, and maybe sub a few yoga classes. I will also, of course, nap lots and veg out in front of the People's Court whenever possible. Gatsby won't have to attack me to try to keep me from leaving the house in the morning.

'twill be a very merry christmas indeed!!

Random Stuff

First of all, 'It's Complicated' is the funniest movie I've seen in a long time. Seriously. Meryl Streep is, of course, a goddess. Always has been, always will be. Adding in Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin? Please. I'd watched about five minutes before I knew I'd be buying it when it comes out on DVD.

Also, the newish Snow Patrol album is now in my possession and I dig it, yes I do.

Third, the new year is almost upon us. This means you can expect an onslaught of "2009 meaningful things" like the top 25 songs, top 10 books read, etc. Most will be posted tomorrow night when I do my annual "Kelly Night" New Year's Eve celebration.

Happy New Year...and keeping myself accountable

Welcome to 2009! So far, so good...at least from my end of things.

Every year I struggle with resolutions, so this year I'm putting them out there publicly. Feel free to call me on my behavior if I drop the ball on these at any time. In fact, I think a little policing might do me a world of good.

I've broken up my resolutions into two categories: personal and writing. I want (read: desperately need) to get back into a writing routine, so I'm really going to push that this year. But, I'm going to do it differently than I have in the past--no writing classes. This year it's all about actually writing and getting the shit sent out.

Personal resolutions:

1. Do not spend more than I earn

2. Keep house clean

3. Complete yoga teacher training

4. Make a decision about mortuary science (apply this year or next?)

5. Run at least three times a week

6. Run a half-marathon

7. Do yoga five times a week

8. Once a month, fill at least one bag to give to charity or consignment

9. Keep my weight where it is--maximum

Writing resolutions:

1. Send out five submissions a month

2. Write one story a month

3. Journal at least three times a week (in a hard copy--not blogging...though I'll blog like a fiend
in 2009!)

4. Read six books on craft

5. Read 26 books (either fiction or non-fiction...this will lead into Book Plan 2009)


Sounds like a lot, right? But that's okay...I can totally do it.

Ho Ho and Merry Merry

Merry Christmas, my friends. It's been yet another interesting year, one I'll comment more on my annual New Year's Eve post in a few days. I've been learning a lot about different ways to celebrate Christmas that don't always involve blood relatives. Mine still do, and though I did celebrate today with some of them, my "real" Christmas happens on Christmas Eve with my parents and Gatsby. Though we spent most of the fall talking about how we needed to cut back and not spend as much on Christmas, we still ate lobster to bursting and started the evening by sharing a bottle of Dom Perignon. We guard our traditions even in the face of extreme budget constraints.

I wish you all the happiness you could ask for in the closing days of 2008. I hope that you spend time with people you love, be they family or friends or strangers who warm your heart. I hope that Santa brings you everything you need and a few things you want. I hope that when you go to bed tonight you do so fully imbued with the magic of Christmas and the love, faith, and joy that it entails.

Why I don't live at the P.O. (with all due respect to Eudora Welty)

This morning I got on a roll with wrapping presents that needed to be mailed and cards that needed to be sent out. I knew the post office would be a zoo, but I was feeling ho-ho-ho-y and merry merry, so I decided 'what the hell' and I brought my boxes and cards and a book to read in line to the post office.

I would like to dedicate "Why I Don't Live at the P.O." (which isn't really anything besides that one sentence...I think I get the point across) to the following people:

*To the three people who decided their time was more valuable than mine and budged in front of me in the "line to wait for a parking spot." I'm not sure how they knew, in advance of opening doors and reverse lights, which cars were going to be leaving, but they did, and zoomed around me (completely ignoring me and several other cars in line) and stole my spot not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES. And let me tell you--kindergartner behavior begets kindergartner behavior. I didn't key any cars or anything, but I shot some real nasty looks and told one of them "really nice. Thank you." Because I pulled up alongside the non-parking part of the drive so I could address the last budger. Hey, if they're going to be assholes, so will I.

*To the man who stood in line behind me, nay, ON me, and breathed ON ME. Dude, personal space has definitely lost its value in this great country of ours, but do you really need to expel your air onto me? Do you? And while we're at it, how about if you maybe stop bellowing at your wife and making yourself look like a total asshole. The woman is trying to mail something to either your son or your grandson who is serving overseas in the military. There's no need to swear at her and call her stupid. You're stupid, and you demonstrated that in front of about fifty people at the post office. Yeah, that's why we all turned to stare at you.

*To the aforementioned woman. Listen, Lady, I can tell that you have a lot to bear in your life. I can appreciate that, because a husband who treats you like that in public has to be an Even Greater Asshole in private. So you do have my sympathy. However, that doesn't give you the right to wander around the post office and break into lines whenever you feel like it to request whatever you might need when the post office employees are trying to help other customers in an efficient and Christmas-y manner. I understand you not wanting to wait in line with your wedded asshole, but I got things to do today.

*To the two women standing near the "forms" table. Isn't it fun when you run into people you know randomly in town? I think it's awesome. Here's what's not awesome: the two of you talking at dance-club-volume on a quiet Saturday morning. Have you both stayed so attached to your cell phones and ipods that you've begun to lose your hearing? Because, really, I don't care about your conversation. I don't care about what your plans are, or how you ran in to so-and-so and how funny it is to run into people you know in, uh, your TOWN. And, just so you know, the P.O. is not a social gathering place. It's not a coffee shop, or a bar, or even a street corner. It isn't a place for you to get caught up on all the latest news. It's a place for you to mail written communcation and move along. Or, maybe you want to start a new trend of standing in the middle of the room like teenagers do in a high school hallway and shoot the shit for three hours. Nifty idea. Do it at a P.O. other than mine.

*To Fabulous Asian Postal Employee. I don't remember your name, but you help me often at the post office. You've mailed my submissions for literary journals, you mailed my graduate school application, and now you mailed two very important gifts for me. You apologized on the behalf of The Aforementioned Woman, and smiled and said Merry Christmas. You gave me the opportunity to be friendly and shake off all of the other asshole people I'd encountered so far in your business. I smiled at you and asked how you were doing, we talked about presents, and we exchanged "merry Christmas" and "Have a good day". You're awesome, Fabulous Asian Postal Employee.

*To Tim. I like looking at you when I'm at the P.O. because you're cute. I don't know why you took the day off, but you really should have asked me first. You're forgiven this time, but don't do it again.

I'm sure my brilliant "Why I Don't Live at the P.O." will be a bestseller. After all, I'm not the only one, right?

Waiting to Exhale

Today was the last day of school until January 5th, and as I drove home today and started to unwind, I realized that I inhaled sometime in September and have yet to exhale that breath.

My physical therapist is at a loss with me...it's a good thing she likes me or she'd probably give up completely. They've started doing acupuncture as another technique to try to relax my muscles, which are, literally, always tense. I don't notice it as much day to day as I do when I finally get some time to stop running around.

These next few weeks I'm going to relax. I need to calm my life, my spirit, and my mind so that when I start things back up in January and the craziness comes back full force, I'll be more equipped to handle it than I am now. Pretty much, this break is a "rebuilding season."

To that end, I have a huge list of things to do, of course. What? You can't expect me to change overnight...

Best Halloween EVER

I arrived at the RMB house at 7pm, costume in hand. We spent the next three hours getting ready, crafting accoutrements for our bird ensembles, drinking beer and eating pizza. When we finally left for the bar hop at about 10:30pm there were around ten of us...maybe twelve. We cruised around, sometimes splitting up, sometimes all together. We all ended up together at The Muddy Pig, where we stayed until closing time.

Our outfits were fantastic. Ruth, Molly and I dressed as birds. Ruth was all color, Molly was white from head to toe, and I was gothic black. It felt so awesome to let my inner goth girl out to play for the night. I said more than once that if I could dress every single day like I was dressed that night, I totally would. It was the most comfortable I've felt in quite a long time.

We slept at the RMB house and took our time getting up the next morning before we went for breakfast at The Happy Gnome. After that, we all had things we needed to get done so we separated ways and closed the book on The Best Halloween Ever.

Now tomorrow it's back to reality. There are some things going on with me, things that are making life harder than it needs to be...things that make nights like The Best Halloween Ever delightful surprises. I'm going to try to keep the awesome memories of this night as I try to get through this week.

Happy New Year!!!

Last year I talked about things I learned and offered up some resolutions for the year. I didn't have nearly the revelations this year that I did last year; 2006 was a damn hard year. Additionally, for the time being I'm keeping my resolutions to myself. I'll share them when they solidify into what I can put into words, I promise.

Oh, and hey, Happy New Year to you. I wish, to all of you and to those that you love, every ounce of happiness that the year can possibly bring.

Merry Christmas to you

Christmas is :
goodwill and compassion
firelight and candlelight
a family time,
a time for worship.
It is the glow on a child's face,
but most of all
it is a story of love
which began centuries ago
and spread to all the world.

I wish each and every one of you something special this Christmas: a reunion, a connection with a loved one, or a plastic leg lamp like the one on A Christmas Story. Along with that, I wish that each of you will have someone in your life who will introduce you to something amazing at least once and, if you're lucky as I am, every time you get together (thanks Jodi!)

My Christmas is done now, at 3:33pm on Dec. 25. I am home watching A Christmas Story with the dog chowing his Christmas bone on his blanket and big fat flakes falling outside my window. This has been a wonderful Christmas (even if grandpa's girlfriend came along....AND lost my present) and I wish for all of you the most amazing Christmas of your lives so far. Thank you for reading me for another year!

xoxoxo

Let the games begin...

Christmas starts tomorrow. I got my hair done today for the occasion (yeah, it's still getting darker) and have finished buying, wrapping and bowing all of my gifts. Gatsby is heading to the PetHotel for day camp tomorrow and I am heading with Ma and Pa to Alexandria for Christmas #1.

Christmas #1 will be the most difficult. Two grandparents who don't really even know that it's Christmas. We'll get to the assisted living place at around 11; the first words out of my grandma's mouth will be regarding my hair. She'll want to know why I've ruined it (or something to that effect) and will point out a picture of me in my blonder days and remark how pretty I was. Ayuh. We'll eat some broiled chicken in the dining room (I've eaten there at least five times and have yet to eat anything besides broiled chicken. Kick ass potatoes, though) and then open presents. Grandma will be overwhelmed and Grandpa will want to take a nap. We'll take our leave at around 3pm, exhausted. Hopefully my dad and my grandma won't fight because, well, it's Christmas.

Christmas #2 is my favorite. At around 3pm on Christmas Eve I'll bundle up Gatsby and take him to my parents house. We'll have some drinks and hang out....for about eight hours. We eat dinner, open presents, eat pie, open presents, play with the dog, play with our presents, etc. I'll head home around 10pm, full, fat and tired, and totally satisfied. I might even go to midnight mass. Well, I guess for us Lutherans it's called "candlelight service." Either way, it could happen.

Christmas #3 is still up in the air in terms of its goodness. On the 25th I'll be, for the third time, trundling up to my parents' house and then to Buffalo. My aunt and grandpa are a guarantee. My cousins and my grandpa's girlfriend are optional. Cousins would be cool...grandpa's girlfriend will be a lousy way to end Christmas. She only talks about herself, and she never, ever shuts up. Every story that anyone manages to squeeze in gets turned back around to her. She squeezes my grandpa's knee and calls him "honey". This makes me gag, and gagging is not something anyone should have to do on Christmas day. If, however, Grandpa's girlfriend is not attending the festivities, then I'll get to hang with my grandpa and catch up with everything and pretend that he does not have a girlfriend. We'll open some presents either way, and at around 3pm (my whole life revolves around 3pm, yes it does) I'll head home and collapse in a satisfied heap of post-Christmas goo.

Tonight I'm still plowing through books. I'll hit 50 easily--I'm still trying to push to 55 or 60 by New Year.

Giving Thanks

Yesterday one of my students asked me what I was thankful for. I gave it some thought as I shut the door and turned off the lights (we were watching a movie). What popped into my head was "everything." I told him I was thankful for everything I had and that I had a very blessed life.

I am, and I do.

I'm going to hang with the family today, watch the Packers move to 10-1, grade papers, eat turkey, and then tonight I'm going to watch The Holiday because it is a movie that I adore.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Merry Christmas

Christmas is :
goodwill and compassion
firelight and candlelight
a family time,
a time for worship.
It is the glow on a child's face,
but most of all
it is a story of love
which began centuries ago
and spread to all the world.

This was on a wall hanging that my mom cross-stitched and put above our fireplace when I was growing up. It is the simplest way I've ever seen to describe all that Christmas is and can be.

My best to all of you this holiday season. I hope that you spend Christmas Eve and Christmas day surrounded by loved ones and full of joy and happiness. Thank you for reading my words, whether you read them once or every day. Take care of yourselves and of each other, and remember that Christmas, for all of its commercialization and materialism, is ultimately a day that we gather to share love with one another.

Ahh, the break of Christ's mass

Christmas break began officially today at 2:10pm, although the whole day was pretty much seat time. I gave my seniors a test, the juniors were on a field trip, and my afternoon classes handed in a paper then watched the rest of Finding Forrester.

After school Erica and I went out for a well deserved happy hour beverage and exchanged gifts. She gave me a journal, a gift certificate to Barnes and Noble, the seventh season of Seinfeld on dvd and she gave Gatsby a new toy. We gorged on Chipotle and now I'm home reading Rash by Pete Hautman. One hell of a way to start break.

Tomorrow is Christmas #1 in Alexandria. Sunday is Christmas #2 in Minnetonka. Monday is Christmas #3 in St. Cloud. By Monday night I should be Christmased out and ready to relax, which I will be doing for the rest of the week.... as soon as I clean the squalor I call a house.

The housekeeping has been slightly lacking with the impending due date of the application, shopping for presents and trying to stay on top of grading, not to mention trying to salvage the dregs of my social life that has been in a steady decline since September. So, the first order of business on Tuesday morning is to clean clean clean.

Later in the week I'm heading down to Winona to hang with Jessie and baby Patrick (who will be outfitted in one of the hundred outfits I bought him for Christmas) for a few days at Jessie's new place. She has this guy she wants to set me up with, so we'll see how it goes. He's a prof, so he's smart, and his picture suggests that he's quite yummy. God willing, I will get laid once more at least during 2006.

The marks are still visible from where this week kicked my ass

After fifteen hours of sleep between night and naps, I'm starting to feel as though I may resemble a human being sometime in the near future.

The week before the week before Christmas break is hard. I still need to be teaching, but break is in sight for both teachers and students. The teaching, combined with the mfa application, combined with trying to have a life and managing a puppy with energy is overwhelming to say the least.

Today I cleaned and read Harry Potter, cleaned some more, and started to organize my bookcases upstairs (an idea floating around since Jodi did it last week). Kind of boring, but it's about all I can manage this week.