Important Anniversary

Today is my 100th day without smoking.

Need I say more?

Probably not, but I will. First of all, I did have a slipup. When Jessie was in town in January I smoked, but I got right back on my quit and maintained. BUT, I think that considering the astronomical amount of stress I've been under since I quit, combined with the fact that this is my longest quit ever, it deserves a pat on the back.

Yay me :-)


PS: Do I still think about cigarettes and want to smoke them? Yep. All the time.

May the luck of the Irish be with ye!

A couple of years ago I had an experience on St. Patrick's Day that changed the entire way I live my life. There were lots of jokes about my unluckiness, given my Irish name and all, but looking back on the experience, the luck of my countrymen certainly was with me that night. It's interesting to think back to where I was exactly two years ago tonight, who I was with, and how different I was. Truly, it is our experiences that shape us.

Last year I ignored this "experience anniversary," but the year before, a few days after it happened, I alluded to it slightly. Kind of funny to read that now--how excited I was to be writing when I haven't written a word now in about six months. Hm. Of course, prior to that I hadn't written in nearly nine, so I guess it's sort of my M.O.

St. Patrick's Day used to be a day of national pride, drinking and partying. Now, it's a day of reflection and thankfulness that I am who I am and that I have the friends and family that I do. Two years ago I was standing outside a bar arguing with a future boyfriend about cigarettes. Now, well, I couldn't be further from that girl and that loss is only a giant gain in the end.

Third time's the charm and New Year's Resolution #2

Yeah, I saw Sweeney Todd three times in the theater. And yes, if I was in a position to fund Helena Bonham Carter's salary, I'd probably see it a fourth. But, I'm not, sadly.

Since it's the end of January it's time to unveil New Year's Resolution #2 (of 12, one per month). This month's was to stop smoking, and so far so good. Except for when Jessie was up this weekend. Now I don't have any other cigarettes in my house. Guess I'm really done.... because February's resolution is to not spend more than $20/week on anything fun. No books, no clothes, and only a few meals out with friends. It's time I addressed my finances for real, and so February's resolution is to begin to get a handle on it all.

Golden Globes, a minor slip, school, and the Packers

So I'm sitting here watching the "Golden Globes". I'm not sure why. A part of me thinks that this might be a much better way to do the awards...the other part of me misses the glitz and the glam.

I went for thirteen days (actually 12 days, 19 hours, 11 minutes and 34 seconds, according to my quitplan tracker) without even one drag off of a cigarette. Then I decided to take a trip back through memory lane via email folders and went back to a message I sent Greg two years ago tonight. Nothing special, just a report on how conferences went (actually, *after* conferences, with the drinking and the singing and the drinking and the singing) and I grabbed a smoke. Just like that. Because yes, I still have half a pack stashed away. It's part of my quitting plan. And it's working, see, because I had three drags off the thing and then tossed it. I didn't go out and buy a whole pack and then carry the obligation of needing to smoke the whole damn thing and then stop smoking after that.

I think slip-ups will occur from time to time. I'm not going to kill myself over it--most of the smoking I did in the last two years was either with Greg or because of him, so it's pretty natural that an email communication would draw it out of me.

I start biology in nineteen hours and fifteen minutes. See the new blog (Death Becomes Her) for frequent updates on all of my mania in that department.

And hey, guess what? The Packers are going to play at home next weekend! No silly Dallas curse, no "Brett has never won in Dallas," absolutely none of it.

The unveiling of Book Plan 2008 and one resolution

I've been thinking a lot about this year's book plan and how it's going to fit in with my new obligations. It's very important to me that I find a way to balance teaching, college, reading and writing, as well as continuing to lose weight and become healthier. To that end, I've decided not to slam myself with a huge wall of resolutions like I normally do, and I've also decided that, though the number 100 is important to me, it's not possible for me to devote the time to novels that I have in the past.

Book Plan 2008:
Read 100 short stories in 2008. I am a short story writer, and I should read a lot more stories than I do. I think that by reducing the quantity of reading I'm expecting of myself but keeping with what should, theoretically, be my favorite genre, I'll be successful.

Resolution #1:
Quit smoking. For real. I took my first drag on a cigarette on my thirteenth birthday. That means I've smoked for over half my life, and I'm only thirty-one. Unacceptable. I know that I have the strength to do it; I need the desire to do it. I think I have it....at least today I do. And, I can't think about never smoking again; I have to think about not smoking today. Today only. And I can do that.